Long Time No Sleep

"I say to myself why are you awake again? It's one a.m. standin with the fridge wide open starin such a sigh flourescent light the stars are bright might make a wish if I believed in that shit but as it is I might watch TV cause its nice to see people can be more messed up than me" ~jewel~

I am having a worse time now falling asleep. I don't know why but I now go to bed at 2:00 a.m. (usual time) and wake up in an hour. I mean I am wide-awake. I read a guidebook on Honduras, and then I took pictures of Surely Not as she lay sleeping. I wanted to have a reminder of what it looks like to sleep since I am not sure at this time what it is. I have always had insomnia. I could sleep for two hours go to work for eight hours. I would do that for days. Now it has become worse. A trip to the doctor will not do a thing for this. I am relying on over the counter prescriptions. Why am I posting this? The reason for my writing this is that I have three wonderful children... The oldest doesn't care for which I am grateful, the youngest does care and again I am grateful, the middle child has his own problems that keep him awake. So don't call me after 8:00 p.m. I am planning to be in bed. I might be watching TV, reading a guidebook on Honduras, taking pictures of my dog but I am attempting to sleep. I am hoping to rewire myself and get 4 to 6 hours of sleep. In a month I might be so refreshed and energized I won't know what to do with myself but I am not holding my breath.