GPS

I invested in a GPS system because I get lost backing out of my drive-way. I would say 50% of my life was spent going around in a very wide circle. A GPS system is a wonderful device but it isn’t for the faint of heart. I discovered that if I select “car or motorcycle” as the vehicle I am driving it will lead me thru a labyrinth of streets and avenues. It will take me through every back street and seedy alley there is. To add to the excitement the GPS, every 10 minutes or so, will say “Lost Satellite Service.” I think it does that for chuckles and grins. This week mom and I were on a street in Baton Rouge, on the corner of Joe’s Bar and Streetwalker Avenue to be exact. It was a really bad neighborhood. I saw a group of 20-something men wrestling. My poor mother, her eyes got real big so I decided that the joke “if you see a gun DUCK!” wouldn’t be appropriate. I instructed her to lock the doors and roll up the windows. I waited calmly for the light to turn; mom was clutching something to her bosom and saying prayers. I was unfazed because of the years of experience I had in being lost.



When I get behind the wheel of a car and all sense of direction I had stays home. My children have seen the worst of St. Louis, Kansas City, and Joliet Illinois. They have heard their mother using words that would make a sailor blush in shame and a few I made up. I have been in lost in the United States as well as Honduras and Guatemala. Shoot I even got lost in a state park. Since I am use to being lost, it has become just another adventure.



My children are ecstatic about my purchase of a GPS system. Let me tell you and them. I get lost even with it turned on. Maybe that is why it says “Lost Satellite Service.” If this machine had a brain it would know I am a hopeless cause and would just shut down.

Location: Louisiana Baton Rouge