Don't Squat With Your Spurs On

• Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.
• Don't squat with your spurs on.
• Don't judge people by their relatives.
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Talk slowly, think quickly.
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
• Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
• Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
• Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
• It's better to be a has-been that a never-was.
• The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
• If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
• It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
• Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.
  The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
• Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
  If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
• Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.
• Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' himdo it are two entirely different propositions.
• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.
• Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
• Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
• You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'til they get thumped
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, shouldn't it follow that cowboys would be deranged?
• There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
• Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.