The Dance

Holiday season is upon us and perhaps that is what triggered thoughts of my brother. I don’t think of him often enough, time has a way of doing that when someone close to you passes. Memories have a tendency to creep up on you when you least expect them. Perhaps a smell, a picture, a song triggers that memory. Yesterday quite the opposite happened.

A nostalgic feeling passed over me as I was driving to Staples Office Supply. I felt my brother’s presence. Memories came back to me, which is a rare occurrence since most of my childhood memories are lost to me. Did you know he buried my favorite pair of shoes in a sand pile that was taller than me? Even though I was only 6 or 7 years old at the time I never did find those shoes.

My brother was quick with words and bad puns.

Ray: Pepper, do you know what really REALLY burns my ass?
Pepper: No what
Ray: Grass fire this high.

The last year of his life he started calling me more and more. We would talk for an hour or more. I knew he was unhappy in his marriage, he didn’t have to say it in words, and I never asked him. I miss those late night talks. I would talk to him of my problems and I will never forget the story he told me when I first started “emoting” to him. A lesson I still follow today.

Once upon a time there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him... ~~
The moral of the story: ~~
Everyone who ****s on you is not necessarily your enemy
Everyone who gets you out of **** is not necessarily your friend.
And, if you're warm and happy in a pile of ****, keep your mouth shut.

In a weird way thinking of him and our life stories that we shared, I never felt sorrow. It was more of a longing to talk to him once more. I made my purchase and left the store.

Driving home I flipped on the radio and the first song I heard was the song that makes me think of my brother. That is when the tears came.

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance

No pictures of the RV we are still unpacking and sorting.

Location: Las Cruces New Mexico