Texan Ticks and Skeeters (mosquitoes)

Texas has the most vicious bloodsucking varmints I have ever encountered. The mosquitoes are big enough to carry off a small child. Okay, I am exaggerating a little here but believe me when I say they are huge they are HUGE. They also have stripes on their derriere, which to me is an ominous sign. The only way to avoid being bitten is to slather your body with nasty smelling repellent three times a day. Sorry if this grosses you out but some of them are so full of blood they just drop to the floor in mid flight with a splat. I have never seen mosquitoes like these. It makes one afraid to step out side.

Then there are the ticks. Texan ticks have an attitude and unbelievable survival skills. I have been trying to keep this a secret but I am going to let the proverbial cat out of the bag. I am a sadistic bitch when it comes to killing ticks. If I find one crawling on me I will plop it in the nearest ashtray and set it on fire. All of the ticks that I have known (very briefly) succumb to this method of death. Not Texan ticks. I set one on fire, and then I went back to working my logic puzzle. I see something out of the corner of my eye and the darn tick is crawling out of the ashtray. I take the cigarette I am smoking and grind it out on the little sucker. Satisfied that he is sufficiently dead I went back to my puzzle… Then I got the urge to look in the ashtray to make sure it was dead and it was ALIVE. So, I grabbed some toilet paper, captured it, and sent it to a watery grave. Now when I go in for my constitutional I can’t help but think it is in there waiting for me. It is a different take on the bathroom scene in the movie “Psycho.”