Going Home

I had to go “home” for a couple of days to take of some business.  While there I came to the conclusion I am becoming my Grandma Charlton after all.  I remember having long conversations with her on the telephone about her life and what she did when she was a child, a girl, a teenager, a young lady, a mother……  But if I asked her what she did the day before the conversation she would be clueless.    Unlike her, I had very few memories of my past.  The first 20 years of my life I cannot recall.  Going home this time little bits and pieces of my past came floating back to me. I peppered my mother with questions such as do you remember Jess and the BBQ place?  What was Mr. Grimes’ first name?  Didn’t he look like Burl Ives?  Speaking of Burl – my favorite bus driver had that name.  Be very afraid children – someday you will pick up the phone and it will be me.  The days of 5 minute conversations will be over and you will be subjected to listening to me talk for hours about my childhood.  You have been warned.

The one thing that amazes me about my home town is it is constantly burying its past.  There are no older homes, no plaques, no sense of history.  I also noticed they are selling off Zach Wheat Park in Hurricane Deck.  Lover’s Lane Road is now Pier something and of course there is no mention of Zebra Missouri.  .  Mom and dad owned a resort for 20+ years.  She remembers nights so dark you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face.  She remembers lightning bugs and skunks.  She remembers helping the men prepare for a day of fishing.  Packing lunch, dinner, and several containers of gasoline in the fishing boat along with bait and poles…..   Those days are long gone.   

Truthfully I just wanted to get the hell out of there.  So we are now in Lebanon Missouri.  We took a drive to Bennett Spring State Park and later walked Lebanon’s cemetery.    Tomorrow I am going to visit Carol and her daughter, Belle.  Carol and I have been friends for over 25 years.  We were born on the same day, same time but one year apart.  She was one of the main reasons I wanted to come home.  She celebrated her 50th birthday with two heart attacks and a stroke.  I just want to hug her.   Believe it or not she is fine.  She is one tough cookie….   I would have “snickerdoodled” if I went through all of that.

Saturday I will visit my sister and then take off and explore Kansas.

Click here for pictures. 

"Helpless"

There is a town in north Ontario,
With dream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind
I still need a place to go,
All my changes were there.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now?
The chains are locked
and tied across the door,
Baby, sing with me somehow.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless.