Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Big Day

Today was the big day! I woke up feeling a little apprehensive but a little excited. So far I have been keeping the excitement level down to a dull roar. I have been around long enough to know that you can take a pile of poo and make it beautiful but it is still poo. My son learned that lesson but it had to do with chess pieces. He has seen chess pieces made out of poo but that is another long and boring story.

I had the termite inspector and the building inspector out at the house today. Since termites are common I wasn't to worried about that. What was I wasn't prepared for was the building inspector. He was a very nice person and extremely thorough, which I wanted.

The house, according to the listing, was built in 1984 so any additions have to have a permit. Yesterday I was searching for the permits but I couldn't find any. It will have to be up to the seller to produce those. I went as far as I could.

Today we found out that the main part of the house was probably built in the 1940's. Which is the small living room, kitchen and bathroom. Which is great! It was the two additions that were constructed in 1984. If they built the additions in the same manner they built the main part of the house all would be fine and wonderful. We would be treating the house for termites and moving in. As it stands the two additions will have to be rebuilt. Which is the two bedrooms, a water closet, living room, and laundry room. Quite pricey folks, quite pricey.

I was telling a fellow blogger this morning about listening to his "inner voice." It is rather odd that a few hours later I was having to listen to mine. I have a lot of my dad in me, which sometimes can be a good thing. I was calculating the cost of having to bring the house up to code and standard and came up with a fairly good estimate and then I tacked on a few more dollars for "oh shit" moments.

We absolutely love this house and its location. When we walk in it feels like home. We will do the work needed but we cannot pay the price that was offered. A little voice told me what to offer, which is considerably lower. Our wonderful Realtor is putting together the reports and will be submitting it. I don't think they will take it. I don't have my hopes up.

This I do know, if our new offer is not accepted then it is for the best. I will be disappointed but not disheartened. Onward and upward.

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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Being Mental

I have been up since 5:30 a.m. I have been making to do lists and to call lists. I also have been doing some research, and drinking copious amounts of coffee. Unfortunately I also perused the news; news headlines that reads"6.4 Magnitude Quake in Pakistan" to "Brother of Mummified Kentucky Woman Arrested". They also found a body in their search of a missing teacher. That last news report lead to the word uxoricide. The definition of uxoricide is - uxor means wife - killing of one's wife. Which of course led to Mariticide - maritus means married - but it is associated with the killing of one's husband. Don't confuse this with matricide. What is matricide? It is the act of killing one's mother. There are others - patricide, the killing of one's father, fratricide, the killing of one's brother, sororicide, the killing of one's sister, filicide, the killing of one's child, which by the way is not the same as aborticide which is the killing of a fetus. Dear Lord! This is what is in the news today.

Then there are Obama candles. It is a pillar candle favored by the Catholic Church which usually has a picture of a saint on it. In this case it is a picture of Obama in a brown robe, which makes me think of the following song. I am not endorsing McCain or Obama. I am just being mental, which is a good thing and I deserve it.


What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
If God had a face
What would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you
would have to believe
In things like heaven and
Jesus and the saints
and all the Prophets







Then there is the list I made. I need to start calling then I need to start driving. Much too much to do and 10 days to do it in.

Update: Calls have been made and appointments made.

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

It Started Last Night

Mom and I had an enjoyable meal last night, seafood buffet! While in the middle of cracking crab and laughing a phone call came in.  It was our realtor and the folks that owned the little house decided to sell.

I am a faithful listener to a talk radio station here in Tucson and just before we entered the restaurant there was a discussion going on about  housing prices and even though they rebounded slightly, they will fall and fall hard.

I guess the owners were listening as well. 

Tomorrow I will be spending time on the phone trying to line everything up.  Fortunately we don't need an actual pool inspection but we will need someone to come out and clean out the "splash pool."  It goes to show that I have been raised in a barn in the boonies because I thought it was a miniature fish pond for goldfishes.  I am going to have to take another look at it because I don't know how one person can fit in it, let alone splash around.  It does need to be cleaned out and that could be something I can deal with or Scott can.  In other words, if all goes well and we move in then it will cease to exist and become "yard." 

It is a 1600 square foot house that has been listed as a casita.  It has two bedrooms, one full bath and the other bathroom is a water closet.  It is a passive solar home with its own well and septic.  It has enough land to keep the neighbors away and give us the privacy we like. 

If this goes through we will continue to travel and explore.  Scott will be our caretaker and we will have a place to land when the time comes.

I would like to say we are excited but it isn't final yet. 

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

1. What are your initials? Legally EMR other than that PMR

2. What is your favorite thing to wear? My Khaki Pants with my dashiki shirt. It doesn’t match but what the hell.

3. Last thing you ate? This absolutely delicious soup from Olive Garden with chicken and dumplings. It is wonderful to have a son who works at Olive Garden.  It was Chicken Gnocchi.

4. Name one thing that scares you: Heights. I know that doesn’t make sense because I love to climb the Mayan ruins and I love standing on the top of a mountain. I guess it is the going up and going down part that scares me to death but when I make it to the top it is worth it.

5. I say Shotgun, you say: Wedding.

6. Who was the last person in your bed? The last person who slept in my bed was my mother. I slept on the couch and she took my bed while Scott stayed in her room. She lasted one night and took over the couch.

7. What were you doing at 7:00am? Taking Lulu out for her morning constitutional.

8. Last person you hugged? My son, Scott.

9. Does anyone you know want to date you? No

10. When was your last encounter with the police? When I was pulled over. My fault and I didn’t argue with him. We had a pleasant conversation and he left.

11. Have you ever driven without a license? Only when I leave it at home.

12. The last place you went out to dinner? The buffet at the casino.

13. Do you like your name? No, absolutely not! As I get older the more I loathe my name. I have been called Pepper since birth so I can’t change it now.

14. What time of the day is it? 9:27 a.m.

15. Who/What made you angry today? It is still early.

16. Do you want anyone? Do I want anyone? What kind of question is that? No, I don’t want anyone.

17. Do you like birds? Absolutely.

18. Favorite holiday? No, I am not a holiday person.

19. Do you download music? Once in a great while.

20. Do you care if your socks are dirty? That is so nasty.

21. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos? I often wonder if the person with the Chinese tattoo knows what it really means.

22. What are you doing tonight? My day and night will be spent doing laundry, cleaning house, reading, watching the boob tube…

23. Do you like to cuddle? I haven’t cuddle in 15+ years.

24. Do you love anyone? My family – my crazy family.

25. Whose bed did you sleep in last night? My own.

26. Have you ever bungee jumped? Absolutely NOT.

27. Have you ever gone whitewater rafting? I would love it.

28. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Yes. My third husband was more than ten years older than me.

29. How many pets do you have? Just Lulu

30. Have you met a real redneck? Honey, I am a redneck.

31. How is the weather right now? It will be 92 degrees today and it will be nice. That is open the windows weather.

32. What are you listening to right now? The tv.

33. What was the last movie you watched? It was a Bob Hope and Lucille Ball movie, “The Facts Of Life.” The ending was excellent. I don’t really like the newer movies. I love the art of conversation, subtleties, and innuendos. Some of my favorite movies are the older ones. I love the silent movies.

34. Do you wear contacts? No.

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? Walgreens.

36. What are you wearing? My PJ’s, sweat pants and t-shirts.

37. What's one thing you've learned this year? Every day I learn something new. There isn’t enough room to write up everything I have learned.

38. What do you usually order from Starbucks? Whatever looks interesting.

39. Ever had someone sing to you? My father used to sing “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are blue….” I have had only three songs dedicated to me but not sung. Remember the Tin Man by Tracy Chapman, Wild World by Cat Stevens, and Redneck Woman.

40. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes and I have great aim. I was taught that if you are going to shoot someone make sure you kill the person. I decided then and there I would never own or shoot a gun.

40 1/2. Are you missing someone? Just family and friends that have passed.

41. Favorite TV? I like the home make over programs and medical stories.

42. What do you have an obsession with? There are things I would like to have but nothing I am obsessing over.

43. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? Linda Ronstadt when I was younger
.
44. Who would you like to see right now? I would love to have all three of my children together.

45. Ever had a near death experience? When I was kayaking at Lake Peten. The kayak took on water; the wind started blowing, and the next thing I know I am in the middle of the lake with my daughter with an overturned kayak. One of the paddles sank like a rock. I pushed Hannah onto the overturned Kayak. I knew there was no way I was going to join her up there. I kicked off everything that could weigh me down, made sure she had my camera (it was waterproof), and to calm her down (she was hysterical) I told her that her boyfriend was an asshole. Nothing shuts her up faster than hearing that. It was instantaneous, “What do you mean Robert is an asshole? After everything he has done for you.” Then she realized the game I was playing and she made sure I knew she loved me. She was so encouraging. “I love you mom, don’t die.” The first thing I thought of when I hit the water was Bill Cosby. “How long can you tread water, Noah?” I spent 45 minutes in the water but we made it to shore. I never knew I could swim that long. Not bad for an overweight smoker, huh?

46. Are you afraid of falling in love? No It is not in the stars for me.

47. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? Oh yeah. It is the when you don’t get caught. I will never forget my father sitting at the kitchen table, looking at the hillside, and saying “I wonder who set the hillside on fire.”

48. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? Yes

49. Our Lady Peace or Nickelback? Don’t know them.

50. What's something that really bugs you? Stupidity.

51. Do you like Michael Jackson? Don’t know him.

52. Taco Bell or Burger King? Burger King

53. Next time you will kiss someone? When I see Hannah.

54. Favorite baseball team? Hate sports

(THIS MEME GOES ON FOREVER, DOESN'T IT?) Yes.

55. Ever call a 1-900 phone number? No

56. Nipple or Nose rings? Nose rings

57. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? At least 12 hours.
58. Last time you went bowling? Don’t like sports.

59. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? When my son and I took an overnight float trip. We just pitch the tent and slept on the rocks.

60. Who did you last speak with on the phone? Wrong number

61. What does your last received text message say? “Get on Yahoo messenger.”

62. What's the closest orange object to you? My salt lamp
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Saturday, October 25, 2008

I Want

I want to buy a house, something small and maybe a little quirky. I don't want a cement pond or something pretentious. Pretentious homes makes me feel a weed in a petunia patch. I feel like I have to dress and act like my house. I have seen some pretentious homes with their granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances, toilets in a closet, and 8 foot ceilings that makes me feel so small and insignificant. I finally said "no foreclosures or short sales." I have also seen pretentious homes with their guts surgically removed. In one of the homes, I discovered the stove in the garage. I guess the folks that lived there couldn't fit the stove in their pickup truck along with all the appliances they have taken out the house. I don't want surround sound. I want my sound in front of me, not behind, beside, and on top of me. Surround sound needs to be outside - the sound of bugs, wind, water, etc. I don't need a special room for a toilet either.

I want a home where the price is not inflated. It is like buying a $5 toy for $50. I don't like to bargain and counter and counter again. My thoughts on anything that is overpriced is this, "They must love it so much that they want to keep it forever." Of course, my father over priced everything because he figured if someone is stupid enough to buy it he will be smart enough to take it. He also knew when to let go.

Buying a house is a big pain in the butt, especially when you run into someone that loves their abandoned home so much they can't let go of it. It doesn't matter what the comps are, their home is special. I guess there is an idiot somewhere that will pay it but after 6 months on the market I would be reconsidering.

We made an offer, it was countered, we countered back and they remained steadfast.

Oh well such is life, onward and upward...... just no more pretentious homes that are a steal.


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Thursday, October 23, 2008

GrandKids

Isabel tests results came in and they held her IEP today. The good news is she will be in Kindergarten all day instead of a half day. She will attend class and she will receive occupational, physical, and speech therapy. James aka Rusty will be continuing her occupational, speech therapy after school as well.  She can count to three, recognizes some shapes, and she knows her colors.  Of course her speech has improved as well so there is progress.

James aka Rusty also received pictures of Jaeda and Hayden.  It appears that he might be allowed weekend visitation and he is preparing for that.  He is excited.  I am too because I love to hear stories.


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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Yes, Jolie

Yes, you do get the sense of spirits when you step inside a vacant home. I look around and think to myself that life was here. You can feel the joy, the sadness, and the hope of those that lived there. I wonder what happened to make them leave, leaving behind rusted out refrigerators, stoves, furniture, hopes, dreams, and laughter. My fertile imagination sees them leaving looking forward to better places, better jobs, and a better life. There is too much sadness in this world of ours to think of bad times and I want only happiness when I imagine.

The Harshaw cemetery was so well taken care and it obvious that families did not forget those that went before. On some of the graves were framed histories of the person that reside there. Of course there were the unmarked graves and the only way you know that someone is there is the small mound of stones tucked away in the brush. Someone even started replacing the worn out stones with newer ones but they left behind the remnants of the original stone. I was so impressed with the cemetery. Even though it is an older cemetery there are a couple of newer graves. I especially liked the grave that rests besides a small creek away from all of the other graves.

I love these old towns that are not forgotten, there might not be a lot left but shards of homes and businesses but the spirit of those that lived there are still there. I feel that you leave a part of yourself where ever you go especially if there is a strong emotion attached to it. As you can tell by photos that I love windows and doors because it frames what was seen and what was admired.

A dirt road always tempts me. It could be it is a road that is less traveled or it could be I always lived on a dirt road. For sentimental reasons a dirt road, to me, leads to family. I love to open the window of the car and taste the dust and feel it settle on my skin. It is a blanket and a taste of home. I love to get out of the car and walk. If I close my eyes I can imagine walking down Hermit Hollow’s road, I can hear the creek, and I know I am homeward bound.


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Update

Monday Scott and I went to Harshaw Arizona and beyond.  We just drove the dirt road almost to Lochiel Arizona and it was a beautiful drive.  Strange but beautiful.

What I found strange about the drive was who would build a multi million dollar home on a mountain top right on the Mexican border?  They had a heck of a view and it was isolated.

There are several ghost towns and semi ghost towns on this route, Washington Camp, Dusqune, Harshaw, Mowry etc.  The scenery was beautiful and the drive relaxing.



Tuesday was mom and I's doctor's visit.  We met our "new' doctor and he seems to be alright.  I did scheduled a bone density test and mamagram.  The best part is I don't have to deal with the insurance company, the hospital will do all of that for me.  That is why I haven't had it done for two years - the darn insurance company gave me a run around.  Because of my health I should have had it done but I am so sick of the health care situation and it is only going to get worse if we get a socialist for a president.

Today we are off to look at houses.

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Monday, October 20, 2008

Running Away

Scott and I are running away from home today! Woo Hoo!

Hannah - in response to the following comment you left on my blog, "good luck with the home hunting. be sure to find a place that has a guest house with a pool, tennis courts, live-in maid and vegan chef. I will be happy to come live with you : )"

Honey, you can always pitch a tent in my yard, and I will cook all of your meals for you while you clean my house.

For those that don't know.... my cooking is so bad that my dog would run away from home to eat at mom's.


 
My adopted family just found out I am an evil space alien put on earth to observe!


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Saturday, October 18, 2008

No House

Mom and I have not given up hope in locating a house. Since our last try at finding a realtor failed we decided to do this on our own. We have been checking the internet and driving all over looking but so far nothing. We located a house on the internet yesterday that fit our needs, except for the price, but we thought we would take a drive and look at it. We liked the outside so much that we called the office that had the listing.

The realtor we spoke to was ready to show us the house right then and there. We said we would see it today and at noon we were walking through a total stranger's home, poking around the closets, and discussing more serious matters.

It was a cute house and the guest cottage's layout was FANTASTIC. Yet there were issues that needed to be addressed and would cost. The realtor told us, "I will find you a house." We had heard that before but we gave him our list of wants and needs. He said "I will call you."

He did. He actually called us back and was ready to show us three more houses on Monday but we postponed until Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday are already booked.

This guy is on the ball and very eager. In fact while I was expressing concern over the wiring, he was expressing concern over the walls of the little guest house. He also found other issues and pointed them out to us. So far so good.

I am trying to be optimistic.


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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Clean House

Trish, thank you for your comment regarding Lulu.  She definitely knows what she wants and needs.  Part of the problem is I spoil her unmercifully with gifts and she is the type of girl that can't say no.  

I will be contacting you when she can no longer fit in her doghouse.  I can only imagine what her little house will look like redecorated.  We could wallpaper the walls with images of dog bones and little paw prints with plush, pink shag carpeting throughout.  She would have a doghouse that all dogs would dream of having.....  Unfortunately she will not contribute any of her belongings to the garage sale.  She is a selfish little thing but I love her.  Thanks again for your comment.

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Sunday, October 12, 2008

There Is Good News In The News

A Girl with an Apple - The story of Herman and Roma Rosenblat
August 18, 2008 by

August 1942. Piotrkow, Poland. The sky was gloomy that morning as we waited anxiously. All the men, women and children of Piotrkow’s Jewish ghetto had been herded into a square. Word had gotten around that we were being moved. My father had only recently died from typhus, which had run rampant through the crowded ghetto. My greatest fear was that our family would be separated.

‘Whatever you do,’ Isidore, my eldest brother, whispered to me, ‘don’t tell them your age. Say you’re sixteen.’ I was tall for a boy of 11, so I could pull it off. That way I might be deemed valuable as a worker. An SS man approached me, boots clicking against the cobblestones. He looked me up and down, then asked my age. ‘Sixteen,’ I said. He directed me to the left, where my three brothers and other healthy young men already stood.

My mother was motioned to the right with the other women, children, sick and elderly people. I whispered to Isidore, ‘Why?’ He didn’t answer. I ran to Mama’s side and said I wanted to stay with her. ‘No,’ she said sternly. ‘Get away. Don’t be a nuisance. Go with your brothers.’ She had never spoken so harshly before. But I understood: She was protecting
me. She loved me so much that, just this once, she pretended not to. It was the last I ever saw of her.

My brothers and I were transported in a cattle car to Germany. We arrived at the Buchenwald concentration camp one night weeks later and were led into a crowded barrack. The next day, we were issued uniforms and identification numbers.

‘Don’t call me Herman anymore.’ I said to my brothers. ‘Call me 94983.’

I was put to work in the camp’s crematorium, loading the dead into a hand-cranked elevator. I, too, felt dead. Hardened, I had become a number. Soon, my brothers and I were sent to Schlieben, one of Buchenwald’s sub-camps near Berlin.

One morning I thought I heard my mother’s voice, ‘Son,’ she said softly but clearly, I am going to send you an angel.’ Then I woke up. Just a dream. A beautiful dream. But in this place there could be no angels. There was only work. And hunger. And fear.

A couple of days later, I was walking around the camp, around the barracks, near the barbed-wire fence where the guards could not easily see. I was alone. On the other side of the fence, I spotted someone: a little girl with light, almost luminous curls. She was half-hidden behind a birch tree. I glanced around to make sure no one saw me. I called to her softly in German.

‘Do you have something to eat?’ She didn’t understand. I inched closer to the fence and repeated question in Polish. She stepped forward. I was thin and gaunt, with rags wrapped around my feet, but the girl looked unafraid. In her eyes, I saw life. She pulled an apple from her woolen jacket and threw it over the fence. I grabbed the fruit and, as I started to run away, I heard her say faintly, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

I returned to the same spot by the fence at the same time every day. She was always there with something for me to eat - a hunk of bread or, better yet, an apple. We didn’t dare speak or linger. To be caught would mean death for us both. I didn’t know anything about her, just a kind farm girl, except that she understood Polish. What was her name? Why was she risking her life for me? Hope was in such short supply, and this girl on the other side of the fence gave me some, as nourishing in its way as the bread and apples.

Nearly seven months later, my brothers and I were crammed into a coal car and shipped to Theresienstadt camp in Czechoslovakia. ‘Don’t return,’ I told the girl that day. ‘We’re leaving.’ I turned toward the barracks and didn’t look back, didn’t even say good-bye to the little girl whose name I’d never learned, the girl with the apples.

We were in Theresienstadt for three months. The war was winding down and Allied forces were closing in, yet my fate seemed sealed. On May 10, 1945, I was scheduled to die in the gas chamber at 10:00 AM. In the quiet ofdawn, I tried to prepare myself. So many times death seemed ready to claim me, but somehow I’d survived. Now, it was over. I thought of my parents. At least, I thought, we will be reunited.

But at 8 A.M. there was a commotion. I heard shouts, and saw people running every which way through camp. I caught up with my brothers. Russian troops had liberated the camp! The gates swung open. Everyone was running, so I did too.

Amazingly, all of my brothers had survived; I’m not sure how. But I knew that the girl with the apples had been the key to my survival. In a place where evil seemed triumphant, one person’s goodness had saved my life, had given me hope in a place where there was none. My mother had promised to send me an angel, and the angel had come.

Eventually I made my way to England where I was sponsored by a Jewish charity, put up in a hostel with other boys who had survived the Holocaust and trained in electronics. Then I came to America, where my brother Sam had already moved. I served in the U. S. Army during the Korean War, and returned to New York City after two years. By August 1957 I’d opened my own electronics repair shop. I was starting to settle in.

One day, my friend Sid who I knew from England called me. ‘I’ve got a date. She’s got a Polish friend. Let’s double date.’

A blind date? Nah, that wasn’t for me. But Sid kept pestering me, and a few days later we headed up to the Bronx to pick up his date and her friend Roma. I had to admit, for a blind date this wasn’t so bad. Roma was a nurse at a Bronx hospital. She was kind and smart. Beautiful, too, with swirling brown curls and green, almond-shaped eyes that sparkled with life.

The four of us drove out to Coney Island. Roma was easy to talk to, easy to be with. Turned out she was wary of blind dates too! We were both just doing our friends a favor. We took a stroll on the boardwalk, enjoying the salty Atlantic breeze, and then had dinner by the shore. I couldn’t remember having a better time.

We piled back into Sid’s car, Roma and I sharing the backseat. As European Jews who had survived the war, we were aware that much had been left unsaid between us. She broached the subject, ‘Where were you,’ she asked softly, ‘during the war?’

‘The camps,’ I said, the terrible memories still vivid, the irreparable loss. I had tried to forget. But you can never forget.

She nodded. ‘My family was hiding on a farm in Germany, not far from Berlin,’ she told me. ‘My father knew a priest, and he got us Aryan papers.’ I imagined how she must have suffered too, fear, a constant companion. And yet here we were, both survivors, in a new world.

‘There was a camp next to the farm.’ Roma continued. ‘I saw a boy there and I would throw him apples every day.’

What an amazing coincidence that she had helped some other boy. ‘What did he look like? I asked. He was tall, skinny, and hungry. I must have seen him every day for six months.’

My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe it. This couldn’t be. ‘Did he tell you one day not to come back because he was leaving Schlieben?’

Roma looked at me in amazement. ‘Yes,’ That was me! ‘ I was ready to burst with joy and awe, flooded with emotions. I couldn’t believe it! My angel.

‘I’m not letting you go.’ I said to Roma. And in the back of the car on that blind date, I proposed to her. I didn’t want to wait.

‘You’re crazy!’ she said. But she invited me to meet her parents for Shabbat dinner the following week. There was so much I looked forward to learning about Roma, but the most important things I always knew: her steadfastness, her goodness. For many months, in the worst of circumstances, she had come to the fence and given me hope. Now that I’d found her again, I could never let her go.

That day, she said yes. And I kept my word. After nearly 50 years of marriage, two children and three grandchildren I have never let her go.

I read the shorten version on Fox News.  To read more good news go to Awwwww News
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Feel Good Moment

My moods have been a little somber of late. I have been trying to be cheerful. Anyway Scott purchase two tickets to Jason Mraz and Lisa Hannigan concert. Thank you, I needed that.





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Saturday, October 11, 2008

One Good Deed

Thursday morning mom and I compiled a grocery list and took off for WalMarts. I pulled into a parking lot and noticed a tall, skinny man carrying an elderly lady's shopping bags. She popped the trunk open and he set them inside. They carried on a brief conversation and she handed him some money.

I said to myself, "I'm in trouble."

I am approached for change, food, or rides. I have two invisible signs I carry that only certain people can see. Those people are the ones who have the need to tell someone their life story and/or want money. I really enjoy the life stories and if the economy doesn't straighten up I might be joining the panhandlers.

I am very good at saying no to people who want money..... well most of the time I am. Really I am.

In this situation I knew I couldn't say no and sure enough he approached me. He told me he was hungry and on hard times and I am sure he would have said more but I just handed him two dollars. I really wanted to say "One dollar for your drug habit and one dollar for a bite to eat."

He was a meth head. I have hung around many, many, many meth heads and I can spot them a mile away. The nervousness, the eyes, the teeth, the vacancy where a soul use to be, and the sores. He was classic.

Yet, he carried someone bags, he stop to talk, and I am one that can't say no to someone who has done a good deed. I gave him the money and said "have a nice day."

In one of my many psych classes I had to take the MMPI test. Then I had to "diagnos myself" for a grade. I did a stand up job doing my own assessment but the instructor had to take it one step further. After the testing, the assessment, he went over everyone's tests, then he stood up in class and selected certain people to pick on. At least that is how I felt when he pointed to me and said "If anyone needs $10 bucks that is the lady to go to."

At least my stools aren't black and tarry!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Clean House

I need Niecy!

Or someone like her that will come in and do a clean sweep. Not for the Little House but for the little house within the Little House. I am talking about Lulu's house, her beloved home.

We purchased four toys for her, a raccoon, a red dog, a rope kitty, and a purple heart. She promptly hid all of them, with the exception of the raccoon. She loves her raccoon! She will allow you to throw it a few times then she takes it into her house. If you remove it, without her permission, she will grab it, drag it back to her house, and then shake the heck out of it as if she is punishing it for leaving without permission.

We found the red dog, purple heart and kitty under the driver's seat and started playing with her with these toys. They all disappeared and we couldn't find them.

Tonight mom was wondering what happened to her toys. We only see the raccoon when she takes it out and allows us to play with it. So she reached in Lulu's house and pulled out her bed.

It was a treasure trove!

First thing in her bed was her pink and white towel. It was a gift from my sister and Lulu wasn't happy when mom picked it up because she had managed to make a perfect ball with it.

Also in her bed was her racoon, her red dog, and her cat. Along with these treasures was 3 unmatched socks that belonged to Scott, 2 unmatched socks which belonged to mom and me, a dime, two pop caps, shredded paper, and two rawhide toys. We couldn't find her purple heart.

After we removed all items that were not toys, we put her bed back with her towel. She drug all of her toys back in and proceeded to shake the heck out of her raccoon. After punishing her raccoon for leaving the house, she started digging and we knew she was making a ball out of her towel.

I wonder what we will find in her house next week or will she start putting her treasures with her purple heart - wherever that is.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Howdy

I haven’t been posting because Mom and I have been busy searching for a place to call home. The Realtor has taken us to 4 houses and one of them I fell in love with. It is an isty bitsy , teeny weeny house with a huge den. It sits on 4 acres of natural desert and is zoned so we can put a park model on it. Reality has set in and I have been looking at resale value and the cost of putting in a park model and so we started looking again.

The funny part is when we sat down with the Realtor and he asked, not once but twice, if we were serious. I just ignore him and didn’t answer because I have a little bit of an attitude problem.

I am who I am. Nothing less and nothing more.

I remember a moment in time, when I got fed up with people judging me. I called a friend and set up a beauty appointment. I had the works done – nails, hair, makeup and even my toes weren’t ignored. I was totally re manufactured in less than 2 hours. I got home, looked in the mirror, and didn’t recognize myself. I even took notes so I could remember where to apply and how. Then I slipped on my new high heel shoes, which by the way, matched my new dress, and practiced walking. I even mastered the art of spraying perfume in the air and walking into the aroma. Which by the way I thought was the stupidest thing I ever heard from a fellow female co worker who was the epitome of Suzy Secretary. By the time morning had arrived I was ready. I could walk without falling, I had everything applied correctly and I remembered to carry the tube of lipstick that I bought. I promised myself I would not kick off my shoes but then I discovered I couldn’t drive in them and broke that promise.

You could have heard a pin dropped when I walked in the door of my job. Why just the other day I was wearing jeans, a Ganesh t-shirt, and flip flops and then I showed up BEAUTACIOUS.

My job description was “secretary” and I was definitely dressed as Suzy Secretary. The problem with that was nothing got done. I couldn’t do computer repairs because of my nails. I couldn’t crawl under, on, and over desks because I had on a dress. I couldn’t change the toner because I didn’t want to stain my clothes and I didn’t go into the server room because I didn’t want to melt. It was hotter than Hades in that little room. Hell I didn’t fix the toilet either! I just stayed at my desk and was the perfect, manicured, scented secretary.

Someone, who shall remain nameless, even said I could find a man if I kept dressing up like that.

By the end of the day there were a few folks that were angry because their computers weren’t working, state office had to send someone out to go into the server room, and a certain someone, of a higher authority, hinted that I needed to show up the next day dressed appropriately for my job.

WELL BUTTER MY BUTT AND CALL ME A BISCUIT.

Friday, October 03, 2008

OMG The Walls Are Closing In

I asked the RV dealer about maintaining the RV when it sits for long periods of time. I was advised to start it on once a month. Today was the day for outside maintenance, starting the engine, and leveling the unit. I have two slide outs that have to be pulled in or the motor won’t start. When I hit the button to pull the bedroom slide in, Lulu froze. She just stood there and stared. Then second one started in and Lulu headed for her sanctuary (her kennel) but it wasn’t there!

She did not like it one bit! First her happy home is collapsing and her sanctuary has been moved.

Then the final kick in the proverbial teeth came when I turned the motor on. That poor thing had been drug all over the country in a car, she finally comes home and gets all settled in thinking she will never have to hear the roar of the motor.

She found out today that her entire home is a car.

The slides are out, the motor isn’t on, and her home has returned to normal but she hasn’t left her kennel since.

I will find a place for her kennel so she can go hide the next time I have to do this.

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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

In Time Like These

To the all of the bloggers caught in the frenzy of the bail out this does not pertain. I have been watching with interest the financial crisis our country is in, I have an opinion but that is not what this blog is about.

Lately my attention has been focused on family, making some difficult decisions, and of course getting Lulu taken care of. I have been trying to help my oldest son, Rusty aka James with his situation. It is hard to be a single parent but it is very difficult to be a single father of a child with special needs. He has sole custody of his oldest child from a previous marriage. He is still separated from his second wife and I don't see a reconciliation in the future. He is dealing with drafting an IEP for her, finding her services that will help her, and trying to figure how to finance the services she needs. He did find out that the school will provide physical, speech, occupational therapy and psychological counseling but he will still need to continue her afternoon therapies. When I spent a few days with her this summer I did see a lot of positive changes in her. She is severely developmentally delayed but her speech and social skills have improved.

Lulu had a pill bottle of teeth removed besides her reproductive organs. She is up and moving around today. She is eating and drinking and of course we all know what happens after you do that. The only time I heard her cry out today was when she was pulling on her leash. She almost chased a butterfly but stopped herself. She is not 100% but she is on the road to recovery.

Mom and I are considering putting down roots in Arizona but that will not stop us from traveling. We just love it here. Hot weather and all. There is nothing like the desert and for those that love lots of trees, water, and lush green grass..... I cannot explain to you why I love it here. Is it the history? The landscape? The spectacular sunrises and sunsets? It is all of that and more.

There is a lot going on in the little house on wheels right now. I need, like so many other people, a diversion. Something that will take my mind off of life's trials and tribulations. Tonight I saw the final show of America's Got Talent. There was a singer that captured my attention from the beginning, he made me drop everything and stare at awe at the old boob tube. Being an operatic singer I figured he had absolutely no chance in heck to win or so I thought but he did.

For those that haven't been watching or won't admit to watching, here is Neal E Boyd.






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