Friday Feast 120

Appetizer
Have you ever flown in a helicopter?
No I would really love too but I am afraid I might get sick.

Soup
What color is your warmest coat or jacket?
Black with red roses, it is 20 years old maybe older. I just take good care of it and it doesn't look a day over 1. Clint and Stacy stay away from me.

Salad
What is your favorite rainy day activity?
Curling up with a good book and my geriatric puppy, Surely Not

Main Course
Describe your hands.
I have my grandma's hands. Weather, calloused, gentle. A hundred stories could be told by looking at my hands.

Dessert
If you could eat only one nut for the rest of your life, what nut
would you pick?
Peanuts

I'm A Sunflower

I am a Sunflower What Flower Are You?

"When your friends think smile, they think of you. There is not a day that goes by that you can't find something good about the world and your fellow human."

6 Weird Thing About Me

1. I have always wanted an OED

2. I use to love dressing up like Leave It To Beaver's mom.

3. I hate cutting my toenails.

4. I cannot cross my legs when sitting and am more comfortable sitting yoga style.

5. I don't dream.

6. When I was a teenager I always wanted to be a truck driver.

I tag Hannah

Surely Not

This is my demonic dog. She has that get the camera out of my face look.

They could not find what is causing the leak. They tightened all of the clamps and I changed out the water doo hickey. I know what it is. It is a device you put on your hose to regulate city water. I just totally brain farted the name away. We will see what happens.

Other than that it has been a quiet day. Hope you have a quiet day as well.

Location:  Hattiesburg, Mississippi

A Letter To My Daughter

Dear Hannah

Do you remember yesterday when you called. I was in the shower and mom cracked the door and handed me the phone. I told you I was inside the shower, wet, cold and naked. You were so excited and you wouldn't let me dry off and get dressed. Then I bumped the shower door causing it to shut completely...... When I tried to open it, it wouldn't open. I said "honey I am now locked inside the shower. I really need to get off and try to figure out how to open the door." You just laughed and laughed and laughed.......

You called today, said it was sleeting buckets....... REVENGE It is 70 degrees where I am, the wind is blowing warm air, we have the windows open, and shorts on. I hope you freeze your buns off.

Love

Mom

Site Meter

Site Meter is a pretty neat little device. If you click on "By Referral" you can see who referred you. I became very interested in the searches and compiled a list of my favorite ones. They are as follows:

did jessica see nick for thanksgiving google search - Why should I care?

ste genevieve mo pere marquette park - I can understand this one

"adopt her" + "wealthy couple" + novel - I wasn't adopted my a wealthy couple and then write a book about it. Sorry Folks

tarot card represents cocaine use - Wow I guess Tarot Cards could say if a person is using cocaine or not but a pee test is better. Or if you see increased hyperactivity and money missing from your checking account could be another sign that is more reliable than tarot cards.

oldest in eutaw Alabama - oldest what?

hippie dressing age 31 - Yes I did dress like a hippy at age 31 but you don't have to google that one

carroll county sex parties - omg I didn't know. I will write this down as a county to avoid.

floating coffins of malden, Missouri - If there was floating coffins in Malden Missouri I would be there with bells on and a camera

"thunder blaster" recipe - Thunder blaster is a device you hook up to your septic tank. I don't think I would use this recipe for Christmas. I don't even want to think about this one.

And my favorite one of all is: drum roll please

Effingham prostitutes - Not unless it was an out of body experience.

Someone Please Explain

Robin said that when she tried to access webpage she got instead an ad. Thinking it was something hidden in my template I deleted my template and went with blogger's template. Today I went to Starbender's blog, I clicked on the link like I normally did and went to her page but only for a brief second before I was redirected to the following page http://earn-your-degree.com/degree/index.php?ext=70000&fil=all.

What is going on? When I used the back button I was once again redirected to http://earn-your-degree.com/degree/index.php?ext=70000&fil=all. Then I went back to my blog and clicked the link for Starbender and guess what it did it again.

Would someone please explain what the heck is going on?

Thanks

How Sweet Thanks Skittle

Are you Naughty or nice Your Result: Your Nice! all sugar, no spice! You're all about sweetness, sunshine, and smiles. We've never met anyone nicer than you. Actually, we wouldn't be surprised to come across you sitting in a peaceful green meadow, surrounded by adorable baby animals eating out of your hand whilst your halo shines in the sun. Ah, we're just taking the mickey. But you are awfully good. Certainly, you may have dipped your toe in the naughty pool once or twice, but you generally stay in the shallow end, leaving the deep waters to the leather-and- nude-magazine crowd. It's all well and good to follow the straight and narrow, but it's okay to walk on the wild side once in a while, too. Have a drink. Organise a practical joke. Go to a strip club. Trust us - as long as no one gets hurt, it's fun to be bad!
your Naughty! wild thing!
Are you Naughty or nice

Sarala Tagged Me

Three things that scare me: People sneaking up on me, horror movies, scorpions
Three people who make me laugh: My children, my mother, hey thats four
Three things I love: coffee, quiet nights, Tikal
Three things I hate: cow brains and eggs, racism, banging my head on the slideout
Three things I don't understand: Quantum Theory, Newton's Law Of Physics and Algebra
Three things on my desk: printer, computer, and ashtray
Three things I'm doing right now: typing this, sorting pictures, drinking a soda
Three things I want to do before I die: Go to Nicaragua, quit smoking, watch my daughter walk down the aisle
Three things I can do: take picures, type a hundred words a minute, break down camp, hook up the car, and drive a motorcoach in less than 45 minutes
Three things I can't do: cook, sew, boil water
Three things you should listen to: your conscience, good music, your mother
Three things you should never listen to: gossip, your neighbors fighting, bad advice
Three things I'd like to learn: Spanish, photography, to still the voices in my head
Three favourite foods: Mexican, steak, pigs feet and sauerkraut
Three beverages I drink regularly: coffee, diet coke, juice
Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid: Lassie, Laugh In, Captain Kangaroo I know its the Mr. Greenjeans thing but if I can find a man like him I would give up my single ways.

I dont' know who to tag because everyone has done this one, except me - Thanks sarala

James Is Moving

I just know he is moving. He will slip out in the middle of the night, with his wife, and my grandchildren. He will not leave a forwarding address either.

How do I know this?

When I ran away from home I designated each child with something. Hannah it was books and furniture, Scott it was furniture, and James was given the responsibility of caring for the family photographs. I have tin types up to the present. I don’t think he was aware of the magnitude until I showed up in a pick up truck. Then it dawned on him.

James is a great sport, wonderful son, father, and husband. He is also tolerant as is his wife, to a point. We were talking last night via Yahoo Instant Messenger and I started showing him some of the photos I had taken. I was uploading and sending as fast as these little fat fingers could move. I saw a couple of “umms” “ohhs” and I knew I was overwhelming him but I had so much to show him. I was out of control. Then I made the fatal mistake.

I told him “This summer, when we get to Washington I will be adding to the family photographs.”

He asked how many pictures I have. I told him not that many... He asked how many photograph albums I had. I responded with a smiley face. He asked again. I sent him the audible of a man throwing up and said “Surely just vomited, I have to get off.’

I can see him laying in bed with Nicole, wide eyed and staring at the ceiling.

I can hear the conversation…. “Honey, mom is coming to Washington this summer and she will be adding to the family photographs. Only this time she is coming in a RV and not a truck.”

I can visualize them now, packing, slipping out of the house, and disappearing into the night.

Don’t Forget To Take The Family Photographs With You Son!

Bragging Rights

Thanks Nicole and Rusty for the picture. Hayden's hair is getting so curly. Isabel is really growing. Send more pictures!

Hattiesburg

Tonight on the Public TV Station they were featuring the Do Wop groups. It is a wonderful show if you can tolerate their begging for money. I sat thru and sang along with several great musical groups. Guess who came on?

Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl

As I walk through this world
Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl
And-a you, you are my girl
And no one can hurt you, oh no

Yes-a, I, oh I'm gonna love you, oh oh
Come on let me hold you darlin'
'Cause I'm the Duke of Earl
So hey yea yea yeah

He came on - the consummate performer, with cape and top hat. Just made my little heart go pitter patter. The only complaint I have is I will have the song stuck in head for the remainder of the night.





Thinking of the Dollar General makes me think of Jill. She was a tiny little thing. She kind of reminded me of a nervous wren. She kept that store clean from top to bottom. She might have been in her seventies but she could unload a truck with the best of them. I tried several times to get her to work the cash register but she’d managed to slip pass me. It was basically the two of us running that store. She would always greet me with a hug. She was the kind of person that can aggravate the hell out of me one minute and make me feel warm all over the next. She was a rare find.



I also want to say one thing. I mentioned in an earlier post that I found people in Mississippi rude. I take it back. I have met some very nice people that reside in the state of Mississippi during our stay here. We will be staying in this town longer than normal because we have a leak. Hopefully they will get it fixed next week.

Today was flop day. We went to Wal-Mart and that was the most exciting thing that happened. The park we are in has the sewer connection a mile away and I had to buy hose and a connector. My afternoon was spent wrestling with that. Then I cleaned out the basement, leveled the picnic table, and scrap booked the rest of my time away. It was a productive, non productive day. Later.

Friday Feast

Appetizer
Have you ever changed a flat tire by yourself?
No, I know how but was never given the opportunity - thank god.

Soup
Do you have an "innie" or an "outie" belly button?
Last time I saw it was an innie

Salad
Name a new paint color and describe it.
blaen
Black with a hint of green


Main Course
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Don't really have a holiday tradition.

Dessert
If you were a cookie, what kind of cookie would you be, and why?
Snickerdoodle. I love a good laugh and doodles.

Hattiesburg

Thanksgiving turned out to be a warm day so after eating our Thanksgiving feast, mom and ,I along with Surely walked a small part of the Long Leaf Trace. There was no way we could walk the 41 miles. We did conquer a mile and a half until Surely pooped out. It was a beautiful walk; people were skating, or riding their bikes. Some, like us, were walking.

The pines are majestic. I am always amazed by the silent struggle in a forest. Plants pushing their way to the sunlight, the ones that do not make it and the one that do are there as testimony to this struggle.

We also decided to go to Hattiesburg Zoo. It is a very small zoo and they don’t have a lot of animals. Mom and I enjoyed it. I saw the Howler Monkey and the Tapir.  I was surprise to see that they didn’t have any elephants. Mom and I were singing the Bobby Goldsboro tune “Me and The Elephants” and we were pumped to see one. The most fun though was watching the Prairie Dogs. Someday when we trade our little house on wheels for one with a foundation I am going to have a prairie dog town in my backyard. They can keep me entertained for hours.

No plans for tomorrow, we take each day as it comes.

Ben Stein on Christmas 2005

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

Ben Stein dated November 25

A few nights ago, I had one of the best nights of my life. I traveled up to the campus of UC Santa Cruz, on the Monterey Bay and walked through the redwoods and across the majestic footbridges there and watched the full moon spread its bluish white light through the forest and I thought my Thanksgiving prayer.

Dear God, thank you for letting me be under your stars and moon and in the glorious nature you have created. Thank you for the freedom from fear I have to walk these paths at midnight with no danger from man’s wickedness.

Thank you for the glory of the free society where I can say anything I want and not fear any more than an angry letter. Thank you for more than adequate food of virtually infinite variety. Thank you that I still have the vitality to walk these same hilly paths that I originally walked thirty-three years ago as a teacher here. Thank you for my parents who are up there with you now, I hope, and for my sister, who teaches me every time I talk to her.

Thank you for my glorious wife, the kindest, most forgiving woman n the planet. Thank you for my teenage son, who keeps me humble. Thank you for the incredible gift of my dogs for the lest sixty years, who have been my best friends. Thank you for our four cats, too.

Thank you, above all, for the brave, selfless men and women who wear the uniform of this country and offer up their lives to save us from terror, for the families of those men and women, for the children who have to grow up without a father or mother, for the wives and husbands who have to sleep alone, for a year or maybe forever, for the police and firefighters and emergency workers and teachers who make our lives work, and for the Constitution.

And please dear God, send wisdom to George Bush and Karl Rove and Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi and Condi Rice to get us through our time of peril and into peace and to put aside anger and strive for unity against our foes.

I said all of this, and the moon streamed down and the stars shone and I thought, and thank you above all, for giving me that most precious treasure: a grateful heart.

Thanksgiving 2005

A year ago today mom and I were sick with the stomach flu. We took over one bedroom, watched old movies, and fought over the bathroom. We had a houseful of company that avoided us like the plague. All of my children were together for the first time in a long time, my grandchildren were there, a friend of Nicole’s came by, and Hannah’s beau, Robert was there as well.

I knew I was dying when I handed my daughter my debit card and said “do anything but block the way to the bathroom.” They all left and the house fell silent except for the groaning coming from the bedroom.

We were absolutely miserable.

Several hours later we heard the tribe come barreling in. Laughter filled the house and I could hear kitchen noises. Occasionally someone would stick their head in the bedroom and ask about our health. We just told whoever that we were dying and to leave us alone in our misery.

I could hear the clattering of pans, the sound of water as dishes were being washed, Hayden crying, and life went on as we lay dying. They created quite a feast. There was turkey, all of the Schwann goodies I hoarded in the freezer, veggies, and dessert. I know because I stumbled in the kitchen to see what was going on. The sight sent me reeling back to the bedroom and the adjoining bathroom.

After supper I could hear laughter, games being played, children being put to bed and we were not a part of it. That was my Thanksgiving in 2005.

Somewhat of a dismal picture?

No, it was probably the best Thanksgiving we had in a long time. It was a time for the children to get back together as adults not as children. It was time for them to reconnect and learn about each other. As children they created a bond that was between children. Thanksgiving 2005 gave them an opportunity to forge a new bond, a stronger bond as adults. They didn’t need their mom and grandmother running the show, telling them what to do, what to serve, what to create. They did it themselves. They spent the day and night working together as a team, creating memories that they still talk about today. They got to know each other as adults. It was a wonderful Thanksgiving.

And what became of my debit card? They spent the day at Miner Mikes showing my grandkids a wonderful time. They took pictures of Hayden in the ball pit, his eyes wide as he slowly sank. I have a picture of Isabel dragging her tickets to the counter to claim a prize. I have pictures of my children together laughing. It was a glorious day.

Now I am off to Cracker Barrel for a Thanksgiving treat. Ah, life is good for the family that lives in their little house on wheels.

Happy Thanksgiving

Pepper Has A Recipe

We stopped today at a roadside stand and bought boiled peanuts and cracklin. We thought we died and gone to heaven. Surely is still sniffing around hoping that she missed a crumb. This was the first time Mom and I had boiled peanuts, pronouced "bald peanuts." It is a southern delicacy. If you want to give it a try here is how you boil peanuts. I don't think you want to know how to make cracklin.


Boiled Peanuts Recipe

Judging from the many variations on recipes for boiled peanuts, there appears to be no wrong way to boil green peanuts. The important thing is the many tastings needed to determine when they are done. You must taste test the boiled peanuts for saltiness and firmness, as some people prefer soft nuts to firmer ones.

4 to 5 pounds green (raw) peanuts in shell
4 to 6 quarts water
1 cup plain salt

Wash unshelled peanuts thoroughly in cold water until water runs clear; then soak in cool, clean water for approximately 30 minutes before cooking.

In a large pot, place soaked peanuts and cover completely with water. Add 1 cup of salt per gallon of water. Cook, covered, on high heat for 4 to 7 hours.

NOTE: the cooking time of boiled peanuts varies according to the maturity of the peanuts used and the variety of peanuts. The cooking time for a 'freshly pulled" or green peanut is shorter than for a peanut that has been stored for a time.

Boil the peanuts for about 4 hours, then taste. Taste again i 10 minutes, both for salt and texture. Keep cooking and tasting until the peanuts reach desired texture (when fully cooked, the texture of the peanut should be similar to that of a cooked dry pea or bean).

Remove from heat and drain peanuts after cooking or they will absorb salt and become over salted.

Peanuts may be eaten hot or at room temperature, or chilled in the refrigerator and eaten cold, shelling as you eat them. For long-term storage, freeze in airtight containers.

Location:  Hattiesburg Mississippi

Stupid Things I Do

When we pulled into the park we are currently residing, I was concerned about the slideouts. A fellow RVer said that if I put my back against the RV and stretch out my arm that is where my slideout will be. I did it but still was not convinced. I just knew when I pushed that button it would hit the post. I sent my mother out to watch and I pushed the button.  VICTORY

I then went outside to hook up the RV. The water hookup is located directly under the slideout.

I hooked up the water, then raised up in my usual hurried fashion and WHACKED! Yes siree I hit the bottom of the slideout with my usually hard head. When contact was made (head to slideout) I dropped to my knees. The world was spinning, I was seeing stars, and a few pink elephants.

I couldn't cuss, I couldn't scream, I couldn't show any emotion because of the audience watching me hookup through their blinds. I picked up my dignity and staggered into the house. I plopped down on the couch and immediately went to sleep. I woke up (thank god) and I had a headache, nausea that lasted all that evening, the next day, and this morning I woke up perky as ever.

Now I bet you all are thinking "I bet she has a knot on her head." Oh no.... I have an indentation. Unfortunately it didn't knock any sense into me at all.

Now be honest. How many times have you raised up only to have your head hit the corner of a cabinet or something quite hard? What was your reaction?

At least I know now HOOK UP FIRST BEFORE PUTTING THE SLIDEOUTS OUT! Maybe it did knock some sense into me.

Location:  Hattiesburg Mississippi

December 22

(AP Photo/The Chronicle, Chris Stewart) :: Marin County anti-war activists and life partners Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell flash the secret Global Orgasm hand-sign as they pose for a photo Friday, Nov. 17, 2006, on the deck of their Marshall, Calif., home. The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived Sheehan, 76, and Reffell, 55, who live together on a houseboat along scenic Tomales Bay in Marin County, just north of San Francisco. Their immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm on December 22 while focusing on world peace.

Thanksgiving Plans

Thanksgiving will be spent at Cracker Barrel but after reading everyone's plans for Thanksgiving I am seriously considering putting my Little House On Wheels back on the road. Going to visit everyone for Thanksgiving. Robin, Barb, Jolie what time is dinner?

Thanksgiving Horoscope for Aquarius

You're the sign most likely to do your own wacky thing for Thanksgiving - like skydiving in a Turkey costume. Your signature dish: Tofurky (tofu "turkey") Your signature dessert: A cocktail This holiday: Give in to all your freaky ideas. Buck tradition!

What's Your Thanksgiving Horoscope?

Where Are The Parents

Teen Sex Parties Increase Spread Of STDs

POSTED: 6:17 pm EST November 15, 2006
UPDATED: 6:52 pm EST November 15, 2006

CARROLL CO., Md. -- A teen sex party scandal is shocking Carroll County residents and health officials said the parties are causing a spike in the spreading of sexually transmitted diseases in the county.

WBAL TV 11 News interviewed a few high school girls anonymously who said the sex parties do happen.

Local health counselors said the practice involves middle and high school students.

Cindy Marucci-Bosley, manager of the Carroll County Family Planning Clinic, said she threw a red flag when a large number of young girls started asking for emergency contraception.

"I've had groups of girls come in for emergency contraception that are reporting living in the same area, that are coming in, having sex at the same time," Marucci-Bosley said.

She said some of the girls have reported having 30-40 sex partners and that a large number of cases are from northern Carroll County.

Marucci-Bosley said demand for emergency contraception is skyrocketing. Her office distributed 366 doses this year -- 118 more doses than in all of 2005.

The news comes as STD rates are increasing in the area.

State statistics showed reports of chlamydia spiked 50 percent last year in the county. Nearly 40 percent of the infected were teenagers.

"I think alcohol and drugs have a big piece of it, " Marucci-Bosley said.

Substance abuse counselor Mark Yount, who works as a specialist at the Junction Inc. Treatment Center in Westminster, said he's heard sex party stories first-hand.

"There are lots of mattresses and multiple partners. The only way I can simply put it is, there is definitely a sharing of bodily fluids. And I'm not talking along the line of vampires or anything. So, that really concerns me as far as STDs and teen pregnancy, and we are starting to see some increases in those areas," he said.

Hampstead police said they're looking into the matter, but said there aren't many criminal charges that can apply.

The superintendent of Carroll County schools said he's shocked by the news.

He said he would continue to recommend expanding middle school health classes to include birth control and STD information.

Right now, the school board has mandated that the curriculum only include abstinence.
Copyright 2006 by TheWBALChannel.com. All rights reserved.

Smart Ass

I never considered myself a "smart ass." I thought I would rank as nice on the quiz and I was surprised to see I didn't make it as "nice."

Yesterday I saw the smart ass side of me. I went into Pizza Hut with my mother and was greeted by the waitress by this statement.... "what do you want." Unfortunately I opened my mouth and through out my meal I kept getting mean glances from the rest of the employees. I was their bitch customer.

How would you handle such a greeting at a resturant? Am I being a smart ass because someone doesn't know how to greet and meet potential customers? Am I a smart ass because employees don't realize they represent the company? Am I a smart ass because I expect to be greeted in a friendly manner? Geez I was taught from a very early, early age that every customer that walks in is my paycheck. That lesson was a major part of my work ethic.

I guess I am a smart ass.

Location:  Philadelphia Mississippi

I Ran Away From Home For This

We will be rocking and rolling tonight in our little house on wheels. Lets hope we don't end up in the Merry Ole Land Of Oz. Surely would not be a pleasant ToTo.

Location:  Philadelphia Mississippi

Pepper's Nomination For Parents Of The Year

Kids Ingest Cocaine; Couple Charged

POSTED: 5:14 pm EST November 10, 2006
UPDATED: 5:38 pm EST November 10, 2006

ATLANTA -- Police in Sandy Springs tells Channel 2 Action News a couple there forced three children to live in a drug house in unimaginable conditions.

Officers say they arrived at Michael and Dorothy Negron’s apartment on Roswell Road and found drugs, a gun and two of the children with cocaine in their systems.

The smell inside the Roswell Road apartment – according to two maintenance men who were there to check out the damage – was terrible.

Sandy Springs officials responded to a domestic call and say they ended up seeing something they could not believe.

Officials say when they entered the home of the Negron’s there were 2 small children inside as well as an 11-year-old girl. Authorities say the children’s diapers had not been changed in a while and needles from past drug use were on the floor and all over the apartment. Officials also found cocaine, meth and marijuana in the apartment.

Police say the children are the Negron’s children and grandchildren.

Authorities also found a loaded gun on the floor of the bedroom – within easy access of the children.

Two of the children tested positive for having cocaine in their systems – they were immediately taken to Scottish Rite Children’s Hospital and were taken into protective custody.

Officials say in their report that it was evident the children had been living in the conditions for a while.

A police report of the incident indicated that every surface was covered with some type of meth residue or needle and that the small children probably were exposed since they are so young – and would probably pick up and chew on anything they could.
Copyright 2006 by WSBTV.com. All rights reserved.


Over 200 needles found in the home. Wow

Why do I think of the poem Miniver Cheevy in times like these? To dream of days of old.

Mike and Barb

My mother decided to take the tarot card test and it came back as "High Priestess." It is worse than when she found out she was related to Joseph Smith. I hear things like "fixing supper is demeaning for a High Priestess" or "you better listen to me I'm the High Priestess." My favorite "I'm going to the throne now."

What fun it is to be blogging.

Good day to you all.

Chemicals Within Us

There is an increase in autism, cancers, brain disorders and other illnesses. Some say it is due to the fact that our population has increased and thus we are seeing more and more of this. I beg to differ. National Geographic has an interesting article on the chemicals we have in our body. It cost $15,000 to have these tests perform so I am not going to rush out and have it done to me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I put a portion of the article from National Geographic on my blog and if you are interested in reading the rest of the article I have included the link to the article at the bottom. It is interesting and a little disturbing.

"I began my own chemical journey on an October morning at the Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City, where I gave urine and had blood drawn under the supervision of Leo Trasande. Trasande specializes in childhood exposures to mercury and other brain toxins. He had agreed to be one of several expert advisers on this project, which began as a Sinai phlebotomist extracted 14 vials of blood—so much that at vial 12 I felt woozy and went into a cold sweat. At vial 13 Trasande grabbed smelling salts, which hit my nostrils like a whiff of fire and allowed me to finish.

From New York my samples were shipped to Axys Analytical Services on Vancouver Island in Canada, one of a handful of state-of-the-art labs specializing in subtle chemical detection, analyzing everything from eagle eggs to human tissue for researchers and government agencies. A few weeks later, I followed my samples to Canada to see how Axys teased out the tiny loads of compounds inside me.

I watched the specimens go through multiple stages of processing, which slowly separated sets of target chemicals from the thousands of other compounds, natural and unnatural, in my blood and urine. The extracts then went into a high-tech clean room containing mass spectrometers, sleek, freezer-size devices that work by flinging the components of a sample through a vacuum, down a long tube. Along the way, a magnetic field deflects the molecules, with lighter molecules swerving the most. The exact amount of deflection indicates each molecule's size and identity."

Web Page:Chemicals Within Us

I Am Not Cranky

When I was 30 I had a complete hysterectomy. The doctor explained before putting me under that I will be going through menopause and told me what to expect. What a great thing to tell me before I went to sleep. No wonder I was screaming for my mother when I woke up.

Later I was ecstatic when I didn’t have any symptoms. I never went through the “change of life.” I figured I was blessed. Five years later I even told my doctor about this. He told me that they must not have given me a total hysterectomy. That a simple blood test would be necessary to find out. The test came back inconclusive. He put me on hormones. After a month of hormonal therapy I was able to put Dolly Parton to shame. Instead of walking with my shoulders back I was walking slumped forward. I was sent to a specialist. The hunt began to find out why I didn’t experience menopause. I went through a battery of tests, humiliating tests that I won’t even go into. When the test results came in I was relived that I was going to find out something. The results came back as inconclusive. I threw away the hormones, Dolly didn’t need anymore competition.

I went on with my life as usual.

Let’s fast forward 12 years.

I am driving down the road, air conditioner on full blast while my mother is wearing a long sleeve shirt, sweater, and her winter coat.

I require only two hours of sleep a night.

I find stepping out of the house in the middle of the night in 30 degrees weather, barefoot, no robe comfortable.

I am not cranky damn it.

I can now stand naked in front of a mirror and I can see my rear without turning around.

I am experiencing some major brain farts. Where are my teeth? Where did I put the dog? What is that word I am thinking of?

I am so happy I can do the happy dance…. But if you want just wait 5 seconds and my mood will radically change.

God I am tired, god I can’t sleep.

What the hell. I don’t have to shave my legs for two weeks but that mustache is a daily pain in the ass.

I am going to have my legs tattooed with tiny pictures of road signs.

I am not CRANKY.

Are these my grandmother’s hand?

That’s not an age spot that is a beauty mark.

Later.

I need a nap.

Moundsville Alabama

Today we ventured to Moundsville, Alabama to see the Indian Mounds. The mounds are not as high as the ones in Cahokia so mom was able to do a little climbing. It was the perfect day weather wise to do a little hiking.

When we left the mounds we decided to explore the historical district of Moundsville. We saw a couple of old houses, the downtown district, and then we stopped for gas. I am one of those that heads for the nearest gas station. There were two to chose from, both the same price, so I pulled into the nearest one. A gentleman in a red pick up truck pulled in after me but from a different direction. He stopped and stared at me. He was an attractive man about my age, with a touch of grey. It was the way he was watching me that made me uncomfortable. It was more of a glare than a stare. He pulled in along side of me and continued the “look.” I turned away from him and could feel him staring. I was never so uncomfortable in my life. I paid for my gas and pulled away from the pump. I made a comment to my mother about the gentleman and she said “I think we went to the wrong gas station.” That’s when I realized that the gas station across the street was patronized by the white folks and the gas station I went to was patronized by the black folks. We watched and it was quite obvious. I thought those days were over. I was uncomfortable enough to leave town. I never paid attention to situations like these until my ever observant mother brought it to my attention.

An Apology

My son, Rusty told me he had a GPS system on his cell phone. I laughed at him. “What the heck do you need a GPS system for?” In my opinion it is nothing but a waste of money.

The next day, my mother needed her prescription filled and we usually go to Walgreens for refills of her medications. I typed the address of the nearest Walgreens in my mapping program and wrote down the directions. 2 hours later we were sitting in our little house on wheels, trying to figure out where the heck is Walgreens. We drove all over the place trying to find it. Then we drove all over the place trying to find our way back. That is when I made up my mind.

I found a small town about 40 miles away that had both a Walgreens and a Wal-Mart. It was an eighty mile round trip but it was the only way I could get to both stores without losing my way.

I bought a GPS system. We will be eating beans for the next 3 months but I walked out of Wal-Mart the proud owner of a device I had no clue how to use. While mom was waiting for her prescription to be filled I sat out in the car learning how to operate this device. By the time she came to the car, I had it fully operational with the address of the RV Park programmed in. She said “I feel like I have been replaced.”

I guess somewhere in the programming it takes the shortest way, not necessarily the easiest way. We had to drive through Tuscaloosa on our way home and we went through every back street Tuscaloosa had to offer. At one point mom and I were convinced that the GPS system was leading us in the wrong direction but we were so lost by then we decided to leave it on praying it would lead us out of the city. Our very lives depended on this device I really didn’t know much about. To make matters worse three of four times it said “satellite signal has been lost.” Amazingly it led us back to the interstate and back to the park in less time than it took to get there.

Today for chuckles and grins we typed in the address of the Walgreens that we couldn’t find and it led us straight there. Amazing little device. I will never get lost again. Sorry son that I mocked you.

Kids, remember this our greatest adventures were due to my getting lost.

Thursday November 9th

We went to Eutaw and Demopolis Alabama. In Eutaw, we toured the Kirkwood Mansion and in Demopolis, we stopped at the Gaineswood Mansion. We didn't want to tour another home because they all start to look a like after a while. Both are beautiful homes but a little overwhelming. I just could not imagine living in a home so large. Kirkwood has beautiful furniture and the owner was very informative on his antiques. While in Eutaw (pronounced Utah), we had to stop at the cemetery. Beautiful place and I could have spent a day there exploring. On the way to Demopolis, someone was very busy. I am not sure why the owner of this field created this unique works of art but I am so glad he did. Mom and I roamed around in his field for an hour just looking. He created his artwork with bales of hay and scrap parts. In addition, many 55-gallon barrels were used. It is just hard to describe. I will post pictures after I finish this. Hannah it will be with full explanations. I am trying to get a hang of this blogging and at times, I fail miserable.

SEX

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX: Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

CONFOUNDED SEX: A man was in a terrible accident, and his" manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large.” The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

Happy Birthday

My grandmother had a special and dear friend, Hans. Even though they live across town from each other they saw each other every day. They had a very unique relationship, one that lasted over twenty years. My grandmother, like me, was married three times. Each marriage ended sadly and badly and she was afraid of those two words “I do.” He proposed to her several times but she each time she refused him.

They had been around the world together.

Every holiday they were together.

Every family visit they both would be there.

I couldn’t think of Granny without thinking of Hans. They just fit together. Even though Granny said that Papa Doctor (her first husband, my grandfather) was the love of her life… I knew.

I knew that Hans and she were soul mates.

As the years passed they started calling each other first thing in the morning. My grandmother explained to me it was to make sure each other was still alive. Their date nights became shorter in time because she couldn’t drive and he couldn’t drive after dark.

She’d complain to me that since he was such a good catch all of the ladies would flirt with them. She didn’t have to worry.

They were the picture of propriety. You never saw them holding hands, or sitting to close to one another. When I last visited Granny, I stood in the shadows and saw them kiss each other good night. I felt like an interloper, so I slipped back into my room, and smiled.

When Granny passed away and I had the sad job of going through her personal items, I found the packets of letters and cards he sent her. They were sorted by the year and tied up with ribbon. I felt the love they had for each other and respected their privacy by letting go of them unopened and still tied in a pink ribbon.

The last time I saw Hans, I walked him to his car. He linked his arm with mine and said “Myra and I would sing this little ditty when we walked to the car. Just strolling along my baby and me…” Tears welled up in his eyes and I touched his face and said “I know, I miss her too.”

Happy Birthday Granny.

Tagged - Good One Barb

Here are the rules:
1. Grab the nearest book. If you are currently reading something, that'll be fine too.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your Blog along with these instructions.

Going on sunset, we three sat on the back lawn in low wooden chairs with canted backs under a poplar tree. The chairs were aimed to look down-valley, a long prospect toward the blue west. Featherstone uncorked French Claret, the bottle held tight between his knees. One quick expert pull revealed a stained cylinder of cork skewered on the screw. He poured the wine, red as melted garnets, into faceted stemmed glasses.

"Thirteen Moons" by Charles Frazier

Hannah you have been tagged

Franklin Tennessee

Mom and I went to Franklin Tennessee today. We both had read the book "Widow Of The South" and was curious about the cemetery. I paid, what I thought was an outrageous, price to tour the house. It was money well spent. I learned more about the Plantation that was turned into a field hospital during the Civil War. One of the bloodiest battles happened in the town of Franklin right in front, back and side of Carnton Plantation. When you step on the front porch of the home, you will look out and see an open field. Soldiers lined up, marching two miles long engaged in battle starting at 4 p.m. and ending at 9 p.m. The South suffered a devastating loss. Wounded Confederate soldiers were brought to the Carnton Plantation. Soon every room in the house, with the exception of one was filled beyond capacity. The rest were put on the porches and the yard surrounding the house. At the time of the battle the home was carpeted throughout and as you walk through it today you can see the bloodstained hardwood floors. It is beyond my comprehension. The Union left the cleanup of the battlefield to the remaining Southern Army. The Confederate soldiers were buried in shallow graves, with a wooden marker. The Union soldiers were buried in trenches and were later exhumed and moved to the National Cemetery. In 1866, John and Carrie McGavock, concerned about the burial conditions of the Confederate dead designated nearly two acres of land near their family cemetery for the re-interment of close to 1,500 Confederates. The job to exhume the fallen soldiers and moved them went to the highest bidder. It cost the McGavocks $5 for each person, and the McGavocks provided a simple wooden coffin. They did a fantastic job of identifying the soldiers and recorded their names in a book that is on display at the Carnton Plantation. Their are many stories of families coming to see the final resting place of their loved one but the one that stood out in my memory was of a Georgia family. They came to exhume the body of a loved one and when they saw the cemetery they changed their minds. They returned the next year with a wagon full of Georgia soil and put the dirt on the grave on their soldier so he would be buried in Georgia soil.

Last Post - A Chuckle

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business"
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
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On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************

At the Electric Company :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
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In a Restaurant window :
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
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At a Propane Filling Station ,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
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And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Maplewood Cemetery

Mom and I went to Maplewood Cemetery in Pulaski Tennessee. What the city did with this historical cemetery was wonderful. A majority of the stones were covered by dirt. They were broken, the inscriptions nearly unreadable and the city restored the cemetery in a very unique way. Since the stones were scattered and they were not sure where they started originally they took the broken stones and made a memorial. It was a beautiful place and you could see the hard work put into it. I would have to say this was one of my favorite places.

Dog Food

In March 2006 Surely Not had to go in for dental work. My vet explained that she will have to be put on soft food for a while.

No problem. I should have known better.

Surely Not is a lesson in the study of being stubborn. I started her on soft dog food and when I thought she was able to handle her dry dog food, I gave it to her. She refused to eat. She went for days without eating. Frantic I gave in and gave her canned dog food. Then I tried mixing it with dry and she only ate the wet, and licked the dry. I thought to myself, “She doesn’t like her dry dog food.” I bought another brand – she ate the wet and licked the dry. I tried another brand of dog food with the same results. This is the battle Surely and I have that has lasted 7 months.

It became comical. I would give her dry and she would walk over to her dish pick up a piece and drop at my feet. She was defiant and I was scared.

It became serious. I would give her dry, demand that she eats it and she would go three days without food. I would give in and she would win.

It became desperate. I would feed her dry dog food with peanut butter on it. She would lick the peanut butter off and refuse the dry and I felt like a fool for hand feeding her.

It became a medical issue. I took her to the vet and she has lost weight...

Then desperation set in and I went out and bought “Iam’s Savory Gravy, Roasted Beef Flavor.” I doused her dry dog food with it and she ate every bite. I was ecstatic and Surely was full for the first time in months.

What she was full of was all over the carpets when I came home yesterday. Then to make matters worse she started throwing up. I did not know a 6 pound dog could be so full. I spent the evening on my hands and knees scrubbing every square inch of carpet muttering why she didn’t use the linoleum. She knew that she did wrong because she cowered under the dining table. I put her in the bathroom with her favorite pillow and she had to spend the evening in there with the exception of being taken outside every 15 minutes.

Today she bounced out of bed. She was back to normal. She walked over to her dog dish but all I put out was water. Later I put a dish of dry dog food and she walked over…. Picked up a piece…. Walked over to me….. And ate. I won this battle but she definitely got the last word in… or the last word all over the carpet.

Hannah How About

The Sweet Bite of Parker


One Perfect Rose
A single flow'r he sent me, since we met.
All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet --
One perfect rose.

I knew the language of the floweret:
`My fragile leaves,' it said, `his heart enclose'.
Love long has taken for his amulet
One perfect rose.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

Résumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Or The Tripping Brautigan

I FEEL HORRIBLE - SHE DOESN’T
I feel horrible.
She doesn’t Love me and
I wander around
The house like a sewing machine
That’s just finished sewing
A turd to a garbage can lid.

Or The Childish Silverstein

PUT ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE
Put another log on the fire.Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire babe,
And come & tell me why you're leaving me.
Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
And don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I a-gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
And ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet cause I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.
So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire babe,
And come & tell me why you're leaving me.

Love you and I am still proud of the fact that I taught you the importance of words.