Friday Feast 120

Appetizer
Have you ever flown in a helicopter?
No I would really love too but I am afraid I might get sick.

Soup
What color is your warmest coat or jacket?
Black with red roses, it is 20 years old maybe older. I just take good care of it and it doesn't look a day over 1. Clint and Stacy stay away from me.

Salad
What is your favorite rainy day activity?
Curling up with a good book and my geriatric puppy, Surely Not

Main Course
Describe your hands.
I have my grandma's hands. Weather, calloused, gentle. A hundred stories could be told by looking at my hands.

Dessert
If you could eat only one nut for the rest of your life, what nut
would you pick?
Peanuts

I'm A Sunflower

I am a Sunflower What Flower Are You?

"When your friends think smile, they think of you. There is not a day that goes by that you can't find something good about the world and your fellow human."

6 Weird Thing About Me

1. I have always wanted an OED

2. I use to love dressing up like Leave It To Beaver's mom.

3. I hate cutting my toenails.

4. I cannot cross my legs when sitting and am more comfortable sitting yoga style.

5. I don't dream.

6. When I was a teenager I always wanted to be a truck driver.

I tag Hannah

Surely Not

This is my demonic dog. She has that get the camera out of my face look.

They could not find what is causing the leak. They tightened all of the clamps and I changed out the water doo hickey. I know what it is. It is a device you put on your hose to regulate city water. I just totally brain farted the name away. We will see what happens.

Other than that it has been a quiet day. Hope you have a quiet day as well.

Location:  Hattiesburg, Mississippi

A Letter To My Daughter

Dear Hannah

Do you remember yesterday when you called. I was in the shower and mom cracked the door and handed me the phone. I told you I was inside the shower, wet, cold and naked. You were so excited and you wouldn't let me dry off and get dressed. Then I bumped the shower door causing it to shut completely...... When I tried to open it, it wouldn't open. I said "honey I am now locked inside the shower. I really need to get off and try to figure out how to open the door." You just laughed and laughed and laughed.......

You called today, said it was sleeting buckets....... REVENGE It is 70 degrees where I am, the wind is blowing warm air, we have the windows open, and shorts on. I hope you freeze your buns off.

Love

Mom

Site Meter

Site Meter is a pretty neat little device. If you click on "By Referral" you can see who referred you. I became very interested in the searches and compiled a list of my favorite ones. They are as follows:

did jessica see nick for thanksgiving google search - Why should I care?

ste genevieve mo pere marquette park - I can understand this one

"adopt her" + "wealthy couple" + novel - I wasn't adopted my a wealthy couple and then write a book about it. Sorry Folks

tarot card represents cocaine use - Wow I guess Tarot Cards could say if a person is using cocaine or not but a pee test is better. Or if you see increased hyperactivity and money missing from your checking account could be another sign that is more reliable than tarot cards.

oldest in eutaw Alabama - oldest what?

hippie dressing age 31 - Yes I did dress like a hippy at age 31 but you don't have to google that one

carroll county sex parties - omg I didn't know. I will write this down as a county to avoid.

floating coffins of malden, Missouri - If there was floating coffins in Malden Missouri I would be there with bells on and a camera

"thunder blaster" recipe - Thunder blaster is a device you hook up to your septic tank. I don't think I would use this recipe for Christmas. I don't even want to think about this one.

And my favorite one of all is: drum roll please

Effingham prostitutes - Not unless it was an out of body experience.

Someone Please Explain

Robin said that when she tried to access webpage she got instead an ad. Thinking it was something hidden in my template I deleted my template and went with blogger's template. Today I went to Starbender's blog, I clicked on the link like I normally did and went to her page but only for a brief second before I was redirected to the following page http://earn-your-degree.com/degree/index.php?ext=70000&fil=all.

What is going on? When I used the back button I was once again redirected to http://earn-your-degree.com/degree/index.php?ext=70000&fil=all. Then I went back to my blog and clicked the link for Starbender and guess what it did it again.

Would someone please explain what the heck is going on?

Thanks

How Sweet Thanks Skittle

Are you Naughty or nice Your Result: Your Nice! all sugar, no spice! You're all about sweetness, sunshine, and smiles. We've never met anyone nicer than you. Actually, we wouldn't be surprised to come across you sitting in a peaceful green meadow, surrounded by adorable baby animals eating out of your hand whilst your halo shines in the sun. Ah, we're just taking the mickey. But you are awfully good. Certainly, you may have dipped your toe in the naughty pool once or twice, but you generally stay in the shallow end, leaving the deep waters to the leather-and- nude-magazine crowd. It's all well and good to follow the straight and narrow, but it's okay to walk on the wild side once in a while, too. Have a drink. Organise a practical joke. Go to a strip club. Trust us - as long as no one gets hurt, it's fun to be bad!
your Naughty! wild thing!
Are you Naughty or nice

Sarala Tagged Me

Three things that scare me: People sneaking up on me, horror movies, scorpions
Three people who make me laugh: My children, my mother, hey thats four
Three things I love: coffee, quiet nights, Tikal
Three things I hate: cow brains and eggs, racism, banging my head on the slideout
Three things I don't understand: Quantum Theory, Newton's Law Of Physics and Algebra
Three things on my desk: printer, computer, and ashtray
Three things I'm doing right now: typing this, sorting pictures, drinking a soda
Three things I want to do before I die: Go to Nicaragua, quit smoking, watch my daughter walk down the aisle
Three things I can do: take picures, type a hundred words a minute, break down camp, hook up the car, and drive a motorcoach in less than 45 minutes
Three things I can't do: cook, sew, boil water
Three things you should listen to: your conscience, good music, your mother
Three things you should never listen to: gossip, your neighbors fighting, bad advice
Three things I'd like to learn: Spanish, photography, to still the voices in my head
Three favourite foods: Mexican, steak, pigs feet and sauerkraut
Three beverages I drink regularly: coffee, diet coke, juice
Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid: Lassie, Laugh In, Captain Kangaroo I know its the Mr. Greenjeans thing but if I can find a man like him I would give up my single ways.

I dont' know who to tag because everyone has done this one, except me - Thanks sarala

James Is Moving

I just know he is moving. He will slip out in the middle of the night, with his wife, and my grandchildren. He will not leave a forwarding address either.

How do I know this?

When I ran away from home I designated each child with something. Hannah it was books and furniture, Scott it was furniture, and James was given the responsibility of caring for the family photographs. I have tin types up to the present. I don’t think he was aware of the magnitude until I showed up in a pick up truck. Then it dawned on him.

James is a great sport, wonderful son, father, and husband. He is also tolerant as is his wife, to a point. We were talking last night via Yahoo Instant Messenger and I started showing him some of the photos I had taken. I was uploading and sending as fast as these little fat fingers could move. I saw a couple of “umms” “ohhs” and I knew I was overwhelming him but I had so much to show him. I was out of control. Then I made the fatal mistake.

I told him “This summer, when we get to Washington I will be adding to the family photographs.”

He asked how many pictures I have. I told him not that many... He asked how many photograph albums I had. I responded with a smiley face. He asked again. I sent him the audible of a man throwing up and said “Surely just vomited, I have to get off.’

I can see him laying in bed with Nicole, wide eyed and staring at the ceiling.

I can hear the conversation…. “Honey, mom is coming to Washington this summer and she will be adding to the family photographs. Only this time she is coming in a RV and not a truck.”

I can visualize them now, packing, slipping out of the house, and disappearing into the night.

Don’t Forget To Take The Family Photographs With You Son!

Bragging Rights

Thanks Nicole and Rusty for the picture. Hayden's hair is getting so curly. Isabel is really growing. Send more pictures!

Hattiesburg

Tonight on the Public TV Station they were featuring the Do Wop groups. It is a wonderful show if you can tolerate their begging for money. I sat thru and sang along with several great musical groups. Guess who came on?

Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl

As I walk through this world
Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl
And-a you, you are my girl
And no one can hurt you, oh no

Yes-a, I, oh I'm gonna love you, oh oh
Come on let me hold you darlin'
'Cause I'm the Duke of Earl
So hey yea yea yeah

He came on - the consummate performer, with cape and top hat. Just made my little heart go pitter patter. The only complaint I have is I will have the song stuck in head for the remainder of the night.





Thinking of the Dollar General makes me think of Jill. She was a tiny little thing. She kind of reminded me of a nervous wren. She kept that store clean from top to bottom. She might have been in her seventies but she could unload a truck with the best of them. I tried several times to get her to work the cash register but she’d managed to slip pass me. It was basically the two of us running that store. She would always greet me with a hug. She was the kind of person that can aggravate the hell out of me one minute and make me feel warm all over the next. She was a rare find.



I also want to say one thing. I mentioned in an earlier post that I found people in Mississippi rude. I take it back. I have met some very nice people that reside in the state of Mississippi during our stay here. We will be staying in this town longer than normal because we have a leak. Hopefully they will get it fixed next week.

Today was flop day. We went to Wal-Mart and that was the most exciting thing that happened. The park we are in has the sewer connection a mile away and I had to buy hose and a connector. My afternoon was spent wrestling with that. Then I cleaned out the basement, leveled the picnic table, and scrap booked the rest of my time away. It was a productive, non productive day. Later.

Friday Feast

Appetizer
Have you ever changed a flat tire by yourself?
No, I know how but was never given the opportunity - thank god.

Soup
Do you have an "innie" or an "outie" belly button?
Last time I saw it was an innie

Salad
Name a new paint color and describe it.
blaen
Black with a hint of green


Main Course
What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Don't really have a holiday tradition.

Dessert
If you were a cookie, what kind of cookie would you be, and why?
Snickerdoodle. I love a good laugh and doodles.

Hattiesburg

Thanksgiving turned out to be a warm day so after eating our Thanksgiving feast, mom and ,I along with Surely walked a small part of the Long Leaf Trace. There was no way we could walk the 41 miles. We did conquer a mile and a half until Surely pooped out. It was a beautiful walk; people were skating, or riding their bikes. Some, like us, were walking.

The pines are majestic. I am always amazed by the silent struggle in a forest. Plants pushing their way to the sunlight, the ones that do not make it and the one that do are there as testimony to this struggle.

We also decided to go to Hattiesburg Zoo. It is a very small zoo and they don’t have a lot of animals. Mom and I enjoyed it. I saw the Howler Monkey and the Tapir.  I was surprise to see that they didn’t have any elephants. Mom and I were singing the Bobby Goldsboro tune “Me and The Elephants” and we were pumped to see one. The most fun though was watching the Prairie Dogs. Someday when we trade our little house on wheels for one with a foundation I am going to have a prairie dog town in my backyard. They can keep me entertained for hours.

No plans for tomorrow, we take each day as it comes.

Ben Stein on Christmas 2005

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

Ben Stein dated November 25

A few nights ago, I had one of the best nights of my life. I traveled up to the campus of UC Santa Cruz, on the Monterey Bay and walked through the redwoods and across the majestic footbridges there and watched the full moon spread its bluish white light through the forest and I thought my Thanksgiving prayer.

Dear God, thank you for letting me be under your stars and moon and in the glorious nature you have created. Thank you for the freedom from fear I have to walk these paths at midnight with no danger from man’s wickedness.

Thank you for the glory of the free society where I can say anything I want and not fear any more than an angry letter. Thank you for more than adequate food of virtually infinite variety. Thank you that I still have the vitality to walk these same hilly paths that I originally walked thirty-three years ago as a teacher here. Thank you for my parents who are up there with you now, I hope, and for my sister, who teaches me every time I talk to her.

Thank you for my glorious wife, the kindest, most forgiving woman n the planet. Thank you for my teenage son, who keeps me humble. Thank you for the incredible gift of my dogs for the lest sixty years, who have been my best friends. Thank you for our four cats, too.

Thank you, above all, for the brave, selfless men and women who wear the uniform of this country and offer up their lives to save us from terror, for the families of those men and women, for the children who have to grow up without a father or mother, for the wives and husbands who have to sleep alone, for a year or maybe forever, for the police and firefighters and emergency workers and teachers who make our lives work, and for the Constitution.

And please dear God, send wisdom to George Bush and Karl Rove and Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi and Condi Rice to get us through our time of peril and into peace and to put aside anger and strive for unity against our foes.

I said all of this, and the moon streamed down and the stars shone and I thought, and thank you above all, for giving me that most precious treasure: a grateful heart.

Thanksgiving 2005

A year ago today mom and I were sick with the stomach flu. We took over one bedroom, watched old movies, and fought over the bathroom. We had a houseful of company that avoided us like the plague. All of my children were together for the first time in a long time, my grandchildren were there, a friend of Nicole’s came by, and Hannah’s beau, Robert was there as well.

I knew I was dying when I handed my daughter my debit card and said “do anything but block the way to the bathroom.” They all left and the house fell silent except for the groaning coming from the bedroom.

We were absolutely miserable.

Several hours later we heard the tribe come barreling in. Laughter filled the house and I could hear kitchen noises. Occasionally someone would stick their head in the bedroom and ask about our health. We just told whoever that we were dying and to leave us alone in our misery.

I could hear the clattering of pans, the sound of water as dishes were being washed, Hayden crying, and life went on as we lay dying. They created quite a feast. There was turkey, all of the Schwann goodies I hoarded in the freezer, veggies, and dessert. I know because I stumbled in the kitchen to see what was going on. The sight sent me reeling back to the bedroom and the adjoining bathroom.

After supper I could hear laughter, games being played, children being put to bed and we were not a part of it. That was my Thanksgiving in 2005.

Somewhat of a dismal picture?

No, it was probably the best Thanksgiving we had in a long time. It was a time for the children to get back together as adults not as children. It was time for them to reconnect and learn about each other. As children they created a bond that was between children. Thanksgiving 2005 gave them an opportunity to forge a new bond, a stronger bond as adults. They didn’t need their mom and grandmother running the show, telling them what to do, what to serve, what to create. They did it themselves. They spent the day and night working together as a team, creating memories that they still talk about today. They got to know each other as adults. It was a wonderful Thanksgiving.

And what became of my debit card? They spent the day at Miner Mikes showing my grandkids a wonderful time. They took pictures of Hayden in the ball pit, his eyes wide as he slowly sank. I have a picture of Isabel dragging her tickets to the counter to claim a prize. I have pictures of my children together laughing. It was a glorious day.

Now I am off to Cracker Barrel for a Thanksgiving treat. Ah, life is good for the family that lives in their little house on wheels.

Happy Thanksgiving

Pepper Has A Recipe

We stopped today at a roadside stand and bought boiled peanuts and cracklin. We thought we died and gone to heaven. Surely is still sniffing around hoping that she missed a crumb. This was the first time Mom and I had boiled peanuts, pronouced "bald peanuts." It is a southern delicacy. If you want to give it a try here is how you boil peanuts. I don't think you want to know how to make cracklin.


Boiled Peanuts Recipe

Judging from the many variations on recipes for boiled peanuts, there appears to be no wrong way to boil green peanuts. The important thing is the many tastings needed to determine when they are done. You must taste test the boiled peanuts for saltiness and firmness, as some people prefer soft nuts to firmer ones.

4 to 5 pounds green (raw) peanuts in shell
4 to 6 quarts water
1 cup plain salt

Wash unshelled peanuts thoroughly in cold water until water runs clear; then soak in cool, clean water for approximately 30 minutes before cooking.

In a large pot, place soaked peanuts and cover completely with water. Add 1 cup of salt per gallon of water. Cook, covered, on high heat for 4 to 7 hours.

NOTE: the cooking time of boiled peanuts varies according to the maturity of the peanuts used and the variety of peanuts. The cooking time for a 'freshly pulled" or green peanut is shorter than for a peanut that has been stored for a time.

Boil the peanuts for about 4 hours, then taste. Taste again i 10 minutes, both for salt and texture. Keep cooking and tasting until the peanuts reach desired texture (when fully cooked, the texture of the peanut should be similar to that of a cooked dry pea or bean).

Remove from heat and drain peanuts after cooking or they will absorb salt and become over salted.

Peanuts may be eaten hot or at room temperature, or chilled in the refrigerator and eaten cold, shelling as you eat them. For long-term storage, freeze in airtight containers.

Location:  Hattiesburg Mississippi

Stupid Things I Do

When we pulled into the park we are currently residing, I was concerned about the slideouts. A fellow RVer said that if I put my back against the RV and stretch out my arm that is where my slideout will be. I did it but still was not convinced. I just knew when I pushed that button it would hit the post. I sent my mother out to watch and I pushed the button.  VICTORY

I then went outside to hook up the RV. The water hookup is located directly under the slideout.

I hooked up the water, then raised up in my usual hurried fashion and WHACKED! Yes siree I hit the bottom of the slideout with my usually hard head. When contact was made (head to slideout) I dropped to my knees. The world was spinning, I was seeing stars, and a few pink elephants.

I couldn't cuss, I couldn't scream, I couldn't show any emotion because of the audience watching me hookup through their blinds. I picked up my dignity and staggered into the house. I plopped down on the couch and immediately went to sleep. I woke up (thank god) and I had a headache, nausea that lasted all that evening, the next day, and this morning I woke up perky as ever.

Now I bet you all are thinking "I bet she has a knot on her head." Oh no.... I have an indentation. Unfortunately it didn't knock any sense into me at all.

Now be honest. How many times have you raised up only to have your head hit the corner of a cabinet or something quite hard? What was your reaction?

At least I know now HOOK UP FIRST BEFORE PUTTING THE SLIDEOUTS OUT! Maybe it did knock some sense into me.

Location:  Hattiesburg Mississippi

December 22

(AP Photo/The Chronicle, Chris Stewart) :: Marin County anti-war activists and life partners Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell flash the secret Global Orgasm hand-sign as they pose for a photo Friday, Nov. 17, 2006, on the deck of their Marshall, Calif., home. The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived Sheehan, 76, and Reffell, 55, who live together on a houseboat along scenic Tomales Bay in Marin County, just north of San Francisco. Their immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm on December 22 while focusing on world peace.

Thanksgiving Plans

Thanksgiving will be spent at Cracker Barrel but after reading everyone's plans for Thanksgiving I am seriously considering putting my Little House On Wheels back on the road. Going to visit everyone for Thanksgiving. Robin, Barb, Jolie what time is dinner?

Thanksgiving Horoscope for Aquarius

You're the sign most likely to do your own wacky thing for Thanksgiving - like skydiving in a Turkey costume. Your signature dish: Tofurky (tofu "turkey") Your signature dessert: A cocktail This holiday: Give in to all your freaky ideas. Buck tradition!

What's Your Thanksgiving Horoscope?

Where Are The Parents

Teen Sex Parties Increase Spread Of STDs

POSTED: 6:17 pm EST November 15, 2006
UPDATED: 6:52 pm EST November 15, 2006

CARROLL CO., Md. -- A teen sex party scandal is shocking Carroll County residents and health officials said the parties are causing a spike in the spreading of sexually transmitted diseases in the county.

WBAL TV 11 News interviewed a few high school girls anonymously who said the sex parties do happen.

Local health counselors said the practice involves middle and high school students.

Cindy Marucci-Bosley, manager of the Carroll County Family Planning Clinic, said she threw a red flag when a large number of young girls started asking for emergency contraception.

"I've had groups of girls come in for emergency contraception that are reporting living in the same area, that are coming in, having sex at the same time," Marucci-Bosley said.

She said some of the girls have reported having 30-40 sex partners and that a large number of cases are from northern Carroll County.

Marucci-Bosley said demand for emergency contraception is skyrocketing. Her office distributed 366 doses this year -- 118 more doses than in all of 2005.

The news comes as STD rates are increasing in the area.

State statistics showed reports of chlamydia spiked 50 percent last year in the county. Nearly 40 percent of the infected were teenagers.

"I think alcohol and drugs have a big piece of it, " Marucci-Bosley said.

Substance abuse counselor Mark Yount, who works as a specialist at the Junction Inc. Treatment Center in Westminster, said he's heard sex party stories first-hand.

"There are lots of mattresses and multiple partners. The only way I can simply put it is, there is definitely a sharing of bodily fluids. And I'm not talking along the line of vampires or anything. So, that really concerns me as far as STDs and teen pregnancy, and we are starting to see some increases in those areas," he said.

Hampstead police said they're looking into the matter, but said there aren't many criminal charges that can apply.

The superintendent of Carroll County schools said he's shocked by the news.

He said he would continue to recommend expanding middle school health classes to include birth control and STD information.

Right now, the school board has mandated that the curriculum only include abstinence.
Copyright 2006 by TheWBALChannel.com. All rights reserved.

Smart Ass

I never considered myself a "smart ass." I thought I would rank as nice on the quiz and I was surprised to see I didn't make it as "nice."

Yesterday I saw the smart ass side of me. I went into Pizza Hut with my mother and was greeted by the waitress by this statement.... "what do you want." Unfortunately I opened my mouth and through out my meal I kept getting mean glances from the rest of the employees. I was their bitch customer.

How would you handle such a greeting at a resturant? Am I being a smart ass because someone doesn't know how to greet and meet potential customers? Am I a smart ass because employees don't realize they represent the company? Am I a smart ass because I expect to be greeted in a friendly manner? Geez I was taught from a very early, early age that every customer that walks in is my paycheck. That lesson was a major part of my work ethic.

I guess I am a smart ass.

Location:  Philadelphia Mississippi

I Ran Away From Home For This

We will be rocking and rolling tonight in our little house on wheels. Lets hope we don't end up in the Merry Ole Land Of Oz. Surely would not be a pleasant ToTo.

Location:  Philadelphia Mississippi

Pepper's Nomination For Parents Of The Year

Kids Ingest Cocaine; Couple Charged

POSTED: 5:14 pm EST November 10, 2006
UPDATED: 5:38 pm EST November 10, 2006

ATLANTA -- Police in Sandy Springs tells Channel 2 Action News a couple there forced three children to live in a drug house in unimaginable conditions.

Officers say they arrived at Michael and Dorothy Negron’s apartment on Roswell Road and found drugs, a gun and two of the children with cocaine in their systems.

The smell inside the Roswell Road apartment – according to two maintenance men who were there to check out the damage – was terrible.

Sandy Springs officials responded to a domestic call and say they ended up seeing something they could not believe.

Officials say when they entered the home of the Negron’s there were 2 small children inside as well as an 11-year-old girl. Authorities say the children’s diapers had not been changed in a while and needles from past drug use were on the floor and all over the apartment. Officials also found cocaine, meth and marijuana in the apartment.

Police say the children are the Negron’s children and grandchildren.

Authorities also found a loaded gun on the floor of the bedroom – within easy access of the children.

Two of the children tested positive for having cocaine in their systems – they were immediately taken to Scottish Rite Children’s Hospital and were taken into protective custody.

Officials say in their report that it was evident the children had been living in the conditions for a while.

A police report of the incident indicated that every surface was covered with some type of meth residue or needle and that the small children probably were exposed since they are so young – and would probably pick up and chew on anything they could.
Copyright 2006 by WSBTV.com. All rights reserved.


Over 200 needles found in the home. Wow

Why do I think of the poem Miniver Cheevy in times like these? To dream of days of old.

Mike and Barb

My mother decided to take the tarot card test and it came back as "High Priestess." It is worse than when she found out she was related to Joseph Smith. I hear things like "fixing supper is demeaning for a High Priestess" or "you better listen to me I'm the High Priestess." My favorite "I'm going to the throne now."

What fun it is to be blogging.

Good day to you all.

Chemicals Within Us

There is an increase in autism, cancers, brain disorders and other illnesses. Some say it is due to the fact that our population has increased and thus we are seeing more and more of this. I beg to differ. National Geographic has an interesting article on the chemicals we have in our body. It cost $15,000 to have these tests perform so I am not going to rush out and have it done to me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I put a portion of the article from National Geographic on my blog and if you are interested in reading the rest of the article I have included the link to the article at the bottom. It is interesting and a little disturbing.

"I began my own chemical journey on an October morning at the Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City, where I gave urine and had blood drawn under the supervision of Leo Trasande. Trasande specializes in childhood exposures to mercury and other brain toxins. He had agreed to be one of several expert advisers on this project, which began as a Sinai phlebotomist extracted 14 vials of blood—so much that at vial 12 I felt woozy and went into a cold sweat. At vial 13 Trasande grabbed smelling salts, which hit my nostrils like a whiff of fire and allowed me to finish.

From New York my samples were shipped to Axys Analytical Services on Vancouver Island in Canada, one of a handful of state-of-the-art labs specializing in subtle chemical detection, analyzing everything from eagle eggs to human tissue for researchers and government agencies. A few weeks later, I followed my samples to Canada to see how Axys teased out the tiny loads of compounds inside me.

I watched the specimens go through multiple stages of processing, which slowly separated sets of target chemicals from the thousands of other compounds, natural and unnatural, in my blood and urine. The extracts then went into a high-tech clean room containing mass spectrometers, sleek, freezer-size devices that work by flinging the components of a sample through a vacuum, down a long tube. Along the way, a magnetic field deflects the molecules, with lighter molecules swerving the most. The exact amount of deflection indicates each molecule's size and identity."

Web Page:Chemicals Within Us

I Am Not Cranky

When I was 30 I had a complete hysterectomy. The doctor explained before putting me under that I will be going through menopause and told me what to expect. What a great thing to tell me before I went to sleep. No wonder I was screaming for my mother when I woke up.

Later I was ecstatic when I didn’t have any symptoms. I never went through the “change of life.” I figured I was blessed. Five years later I even told my doctor about this. He told me that they must not have given me a total hysterectomy. That a simple blood test would be necessary to find out. The test came back inconclusive. He put me on hormones. After a month of hormonal therapy I was able to put Dolly Parton to shame. Instead of walking with my shoulders back I was walking slumped forward. I was sent to a specialist. The hunt began to find out why I didn’t experience menopause. I went through a battery of tests, humiliating tests that I won’t even go into. When the test results came in I was relived that I was going to find out something. The results came back as inconclusive. I threw away the hormones, Dolly didn’t need anymore competition.

I went on with my life as usual.

Let’s fast forward 12 years.

I am driving down the road, air conditioner on full blast while my mother is wearing a long sleeve shirt, sweater, and her winter coat.

I require only two hours of sleep a night.

I find stepping out of the house in the middle of the night in 30 degrees weather, barefoot, no robe comfortable.

I am not cranky damn it.

I can now stand naked in front of a mirror and I can see my rear without turning around.

I am experiencing some major brain farts. Where are my teeth? Where did I put the dog? What is that word I am thinking of?

I am so happy I can do the happy dance…. But if you want just wait 5 seconds and my mood will radically change.

God I am tired, god I can’t sleep.

What the hell. I don’t have to shave my legs for two weeks but that mustache is a daily pain in the ass.

I am going to have my legs tattooed with tiny pictures of road signs.

I am not CRANKY.

Are these my grandmother’s hand?

That’s not an age spot that is a beauty mark.

Later.

I need a nap.

Moundsville Alabama

Today we ventured to Moundsville, Alabama to see the Indian Mounds. The mounds are not as high as the ones in Cahokia so mom was able to do a little climbing. It was the perfect day weather wise to do a little hiking.

When we left the mounds we decided to explore the historical district of Moundsville. We saw a couple of old houses, the downtown district, and then we stopped for gas. I am one of those that heads for the nearest gas station. There were two to chose from, both the same price, so I pulled into the nearest one. A gentleman in a red pick up truck pulled in after me but from a different direction. He stopped and stared at me. He was an attractive man about my age, with a touch of grey. It was the way he was watching me that made me uncomfortable. It was more of a glare than a stare. He pulled in along side of me and continued the “look.” I turned away from him and could feel him staring. I was never so uncomfortable in my life. I paid for my gas and pulled away from the pump. I made a comment to my mother about the gentleman and she said “I think we went to the wrong gas station.” That’s when I realized that the gas station across the street was patronized by the white folks and the gas station I went to was patronized by the black folks. We watched and it was quite obvious. I thought those days were over. I was uncomfortable enough to leave town. I never paid attention to situations like these until my ever observant mother brought it to my attention.

An Apology

My son, Rusty told me he had a GPS system on his cell phone. I laughed at him. “What the heck do you need a GPS system for?” In my opinion it is nothing but a waste of money.

The next day, my mother needed her prescription filled and we usually go to Walgreens for refills of her medications. I typed the address of the nearest Walgreens in my mapping program and wrote down the directions. 2 hours later we were sitting in our little house on wheels, trying to figure out where the heck is Walgreens. We drove all over the place trying to find it. Then we drove all over the place trying to find our way back. That is when I made up my mind.

I found a small town about 40 miles away that had both a Walgreens and a Wal-Mart. It was an eighty mile round trip but it was the only way I could get to both stores without losing my way.

I bought a GPS system. We will be eating beans for the next 3 months but I walked out of Wal-Mart the proud owner of a device I had no clue how to use. While mom was waiting for her prescription to be filled I sat out in the car learning how to operate this device. By the time she came to the car, I had it fully operational with the address of the RV Park programmed in. She said “I feel like I have been replaced.”

I guess somewhere in the programming it takes the shortest way, not necessarily the easiest way. We had to drive through Tuscaloosa on our way home and we went through every back street Tuscaloosa had to offer. At one point mom and I were convinced that the GPS system was leading us in the wrong direction but we were so lost by then we decided to leave it on praying it would lead us out of the city. Our very lives depended on this device I really didn’t know much about. To make matters worse three of four times it said “satellite signal has been lost.” Amazingly it led us back to the interstate and back to the park in less time than it took to get there.

Today for chuckles and grins we typed in the address of the Walgreens that we couldn’t find and it led us straight there. Amazing little device. I will never get lost again. Sorry son that I mocked you.

Kids, remember this our greatest adventures were due to my getting lost.

Thursday November 9th

We went to Eutaw and Demopolis Alabama. In Eutaw, we toured the Kirkwood Mansion and in Demopolis, we stopped at the Gaineswood Mansion. We didn't want to tour another home because they all start to look a like after a while. Both are beautiful homes but a little overwhelming. I just could not imagine living in a home so large. Kirkwood has beautiful furniture and the owner was very informative on his antiques. While in Eutaw (pronounced Utah), we had to stop at the cemetery. Beautiful place and I could have spent a day there exploring. On the way to Demopolis, someone was very busy. I am not sure why the owner of this field created this unique works of art but I am so glad he did. Mom and I roamed around in his field for an hour just looking. He created his artwork with bales of hay and scrap parts. In addition, many 55-gallon barrels were used. It is just hard to describe. I will post pictures after I finish this. Hannah it will be with full explanations. I am trying to get a hang of this blogging and at times, I fail miserable.

SEX

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX: Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

CONFOUNDED SEX: A man was in a terrible accident, and his" manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large.” The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

Happy Birthday

My grandmother had a special and dear friend, Hans. Even though they live across town from each other they saw each other every day. They had a very unique relationship, one that lasted over twenty years. My grandmother, like me, was married three times. Each marriage ended sadly and badly and she was afraid of those two words “I do.” He proposed to her several times but she each time she refused him.

They had been around the world together.

Every holiday they were together.

Every family visit they both would be there.

I couldn’t think of Granny without thinking of Hans. They just fit together. Even though Granny said that Papa Doctor (her first husband, my grandfather) was the love of her life… I knew.

I knew that Hans and she were soul mates.

As the years passed they started calling each other first thing in the morning. My grandmother explained to me it was to make sure each other was still alive. Their date nights became shorter in time because she couldn’t drive and he couldn’t drive after dark.

She’d complain to me that since he was such a good catch all of the ladies would flirt with them. She didn’t have to worry.

They were the picture of propriety. You never saw them holding hands, or sitting to close to one another. When I last visited Granny, I stood in the shadows and saw them kiss each other good night. I felt like an interloper, so I slipped back into my room, and smiled.

When Granny passed away and I had the sad job of going through her personal items, I found the packets of letters and cards he sent her. They were sorted by the year and tied up with ribbon. I felt the love they had for each other and respected their privacy by letting go of them unopened and still tied in a pink ribbon.

The last time I saw Hans, I walked him to his car. He linked his arm with mine and said “Myra and I would sing this little ditty when we walked to the car. Just strolling along my baby and me…” Tears welled up in his eyes and I touched his face and said “I know, I miss her too.”

Happy Birthday Granny.

Tagged - Good One Barb

Here are the rules:
1. Grab the nearest book. If you are currently reading something, that'll be fine too.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your Blog along with these instructions.

Going on sunset, we three sat on the back lawn in low wooden chairs with canted backs under a poplar tree. The chairs were aimed to look down-valley, a long prospect toward the blue west. Featherstone uncorked French Claret, the bottle held tight between his knees. One quick expert pull revealed a stained cylinder of cork skewered on the screw. He poured the wine, red as melted garnets, into faceted stemmed glasses.

"Thirteen Moons" by Charles Frazier

Hannah you have been tagged

Franklin Tennessee

Mom and I went to Franklin Tennessee today. We both had read the book "Widow Of The South" and was curious about the cemetery. I paid, what I thought was an outrageous, price to tour the house. It was money well spent. I learned more about the Plantation that was turned into a field hospital during the Civil War. One of the bloodiest battles happened in the town of Franklin right in front, back and side of Carnton Plantation. When you step on the front porch of the home, you will look out and see an open field. Soldiers lined up, marching two miles long engaged in battle starting at 4 p.m. and ending at 9 p.m. The South suffered a devastating loss. Wounded Confederate soldiers were brought to the Carnton Plantation. Soon every room in the house, with the exception of one was filled beyond capacity. The rest were put on the porches and the yard surrounding the house. At the time of the battle the home was carpeted throughout and as you walk through it today you can see the bloodstained hardwood floors. It is beyond my comprehension. The Union left the cleanup of the battlefield to the remaining Southern Army. The Confederate soldiers were buried in shallow graves, with a wooden marker. The Union soldiers were buried in trenches and were later exhumed and moved to the National Cemetery. In 1866, John and Carrie McGavock, concerned about the burial conditions of the Confederate dead designated nearly two acres of land near their family cemetery for the re-interment of close to 1,500 Confederates. The job to exhume the fallen soldiers and moved them went to the highest bidder. It cost the McGavocks $5 for each person, and the McGavocks provided a simple wooden coffin. They did a fantastic job of identifying the soldiers and recorded their names in a book that is on display at the Carnton Plantation. Their are many stories of families coming to see the final resting place of their loved one but the one that stood out in my memory was of a Georgia family. They came to exhume the body of a loved one and when they saw the cemetery they changed their minds. They returned the next year with a wagon full of Georgia soil and put the dirt on the grave on their soldier so he would be buried in Georgia soil.

Last Post - A Chuckle

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business"
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
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On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
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At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary We hear you coming."
**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************

At the Electric Company :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************

In a Restaurant window :
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************

At a Propane Filling Station ,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
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And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Maplewood Cemetery

Mom and I went to Maplewood Cemetery in Pulaski Tennessee. What the city did with this historical cemetery was wonderful. A majority of the stones were covered by dirt. They were broken, the inscriptions nearly unreadable and the city restored the cemetery in a very unique way. Since the stones were scattered and they were not sure where they started originally they took the broken stones and made a memorial. It was a beautiful place and you could see the hard work put into it. I would have to say this was one of my favorite places.

Dog Food

In March 2006 Surely Not had to go in for dental work. My vet explained that she will have to be put on soft food for a while.

No problem. I should have known better.

Surely Not is a lesson in the study of being stubborn. I started her on soft dog food and when I thought she was able to handle her dry dog food, I gave it to her. She refused to eat. She went for days without eating. Frantic I gave in and gave her canned dog food. Then I tried mixing it with dry and she only ate the wet, and licked the dry. I thought to myself, “She doesn’t like her dry dog food.” I bought another brand – she ate the wet and licked the dry. I tried another brand of dog food with the same results. This is the battle Surely and I have that has lasted 7 months.

It became comical. I would give her dry and she would walk over to her dish pick up a piece and drop at my feet. She was defiant and I was scared.

It became serious. I would give her dry, demand that she eats it and she would go three days without food. I would give in and she would win.

It became desperate. I would feed her dry dog food with peanut butter on it. She would lick the peanut butter off and refuse the dry and I felt like a fool for hand feeding her.

It became a medical issue. I took her to the vet and she has lost weight...

Then desperation set in and I went out and bought “Iam’s Savory Gravy, Roasted Beef Flavor.” I doused her dry dog food with it and she ate every bite. I was ecstatic and Surely was full for the first time in months.

What she was full of was all over the carpets when I came home yesterday. Then to make matters worse she started throwing up. I did not know a 6 pound dog could be so full. I spent the evening on my hands and knees scrubbing every square inch of carpet muttering why she didn’t use the linoleum. She knew that she did wrong because she cowered under the dining table. I put her in the bathroom with her favorite pillow and she had to spend the evening in there with the exception of being taken outside every 15 minutes.

Today she bounced out of bed. She was back to normal. She walked over to her dog dish but all I put out was water. Later I put a dish of dry dog food and she walked over…. Picked up a piece…. Walked over to me….. And ate. I won this battle but she definitely got the last word in… or the last word all over the carpet.

Hannah How About

The Sweet Bite of Parker


One Perfect Rose
A single flow'r he sent me, since we met.
All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet --
One perfect rose.

I knew the language of the floweret:
`My fragile leaves,' it said, `his heart enclose'.
Love long has taken for his amulet
One perfect rose.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

Résumé
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Or The Tripping Brautigan

I FEEL HORRIBLE - SHE DOESN’T
I feel horrible.
She doesn’t Love me and
I wander around
The house like a sewing machine
That’s just finished sewing
A turd to a garbage can lid.

Or The Childish Silverstein

PUT ANOTHER LOG ON THE FIRE
Put another log on the fire.Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire babe,
And come & tell me why you're leaving me.
Now don't I let you wash the car on Sunday?
And don't I warn you when you're gettin fat?
Ain't I a-gonna take you fishin' with me someday?
Well, a man can't love a woman more than that.
And ain't I always nice to your kid sister?
Don't I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet cause I like you when you're sweet,
And you know it ain't feminine to fight.
So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire babe,
And come & tell me why you're leaving me.

Love you and I am still proud of the fact that I taught you the importance of words.

There are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves

"There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who prey upon them with IBM eyes
And sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon.
There are men to gentle for a savage world
Who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween
And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon.

There are men to gentle to live among wolves
Who anoint them for burial with greedy claws
And murder them for a merchant's profit and gain.
There are men to gentle for a corporate world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And pause to hear the distant whistle of a train.

There are men to gentle too live amount wolves
Who devour them with appetite and search
For other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry.
There are men to gentle for an accountant's world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And search for beauty in the mystery of the sky.

There are men to gentle too live among wolves
Who toss them like a lost and wounded dove
Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant's world
Unless they have a gentle one to love."

James Kavanaugh

Swiped This From Skittles

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

Big Bessie Rambler

Hillbilly Name Generator

Which Way Did I Go

We took off this morning earlier than normal. We both were ready for a change of scenery. The drive into Nashville was breathtaking. I am not sure how it happened but I ended up on a two lane, curvy road somewhere in Nashville. We went from the interestate to "where the hec are we" in less than 15 minutes. The "where the hec are we" went from "how the hec am I going to turn this rig around?" Fortunately we came up on a church with a large parking lot. Then we got back on Interstate 24. I told mom to call the park and get directions. He said "well you take 65 north to ...." This is not good because we were on Interstate 24E. So we drove until I could find a place to turn around and got on Interstate 24W and drove back through Nashville until I found 65 north. Once on 65 north I started relaxing. It was pretty stressful driving through Nashville twice. Then it hit me and mom at the same time, the exit numbers were going up instead of down. So I found a place to turn around and we got on 65 south, even though the man said north the numbers were saying something else. I drove through Nashville for the 3rd time. By now my stress level was off the scale because traffic was picking up. Besides that the three of us had to go to the restroom and mom was not going to move for fear that I would end up on a two lane road again. We did find the place and we are so far out in the boondocks that mom and I probably won't leave for a while. It is peaceful here, the park is beautiful, and I do not want to see Nashville for a long time.

Cornersville Tennessee

Ben Did It Again

(CBS) Sunday Morning contributor Ben Stein thinks it is time President Bush admit that Iraq is a disaster.

Times are very tough in Iraq and if I was still a speechwriter for the President, like I was for Mr. Nixon and Mr. Ford, this is what I would suggest he say:

My fellow Americans, I have some sobering news. It is my duty, above all, to protect the nation. I sincerely believed I was doing that when I ordered the invasion of Iraq. I still believe Saddam Hussein was the most dangerous man in the world. But it is clear to me now that things are not working out well in Iraq. Despite the incredible confidence, bravery and sacrifice of our men and women on the ground there, Iraq is still a violent, largely out of control nation. We may be making more terrorists than we destroy. "Quagmire" comes sadly to mind. It is clear that change must be made. Therefore, I have this morning accepted Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's resignation with sincere thanks for his service to the nation. He will be replaced by a truly heroic American, Senator John McCain of Arizona.

Despite my best intentions, I made mistakes in Iraq and mine is the responsibility. Good men and women died and hard-earned tax money was lost. Fine young men and women are crippled and disabled, which is a tragedy. It is time for a change. Therefore, I am convening an official, national, bi-partisan, blue ribbon commission composed of Democrats, Independents and Republicans, civilian and military, to start meeting at once and give me a recommendation in one month as to what our Iraq policy should be. All options are on the table. All.

I want to close with this thought. I am just a man. I have no miraculous powers. I have no special pipeline to God. Like all presidents from Jefferson and Lincoln onwards — and believe me, I know I'm not in their league — I make mistakes and sometimes good people die because of them. I am deeply sorry. As we re-examine our policy, I would ask that you all pray for us to make the right decision. May God continue to bless us all. Thank you.

©MMVI, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

How

I have been asked via e-mail and received some comments about my age and early retirement. Someone even had the audacity to insinuate that I am independently wealthy. That was a comment I deleted and chuckled about. So how did a person on the downhill side of 40 ends up in a RV and traveling down the road. It is quite simple.

My father had cerebral palsy. The doctors told my grandmother that he was retarded and needed to be institutionalized. Keep in mind he was born in 1930. He was raised by his grandmother. He was sent to private schools because of his disability and wasn’t until he demanded to be mainstreamed in high school that he was allowed in public schools. His gait was awkward, his speech hard to understand but he was a people person and people responded well to him. His grades reflect his intelligence. He later married my mom and started his own business.

When he was 50 he was diagnosed with peripheral neurothapy. It was then that he was confined to a wheelchair. Add neck surgery, arthritis, and other ailments that age gives us and he started depending on my mother more and more. He was also scared to be left alone and no one can blame him for being afraid. So my mother found herself over time, becoming more and more housebound. The last five years of his life it took the two of us to care for him. His mind was sharp but his body had deteriorated to the point that he was no longer able to take care of his most basic needs. My mother left the house for a couple of hours to shop once a week.

When he was hospitalized May 2005, the doctor told us that we could no longer care for him. He would have to be put in a nursing home. It wasn’t because he was receiving poor care. We took outstanding care of him; it was simply the care he would require went beyond what we could do for him. This upset mom and I more than his passing. We promised him that he wouldn’t go into nursing home. We did everything we could to prevent this. Like I said earlier his body was weak but his mind was strong. He wouldn’t survive in a nursing home. His passing became a blessing simply because he wasn’t in a nursing and we fulfilled our promise to him.

My mother had basically become housebound for 20+ years. When she asked if I would become her caregiver and quit my secure job I jumped at the opportunity. I worked for years in the “welfare office.” I figure if I ended up on the welfare line then at least I have an advantage. That is why I am here today in Kentucky. I traded in my Sebring for a Vue and a Gulfstream. The Vue I could handle the Gulfstream was a different matter. After hitting the tree I became more relaxed about driving it. I sold my house and got rid of everything I owned. It started out as gift to my mother. Somewhat of a “martyr” statement you say? Let me tell you what started out as a gift to my mother has ended up becoming a gift my mother gave me.

Halloween Bad Joke

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you"

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Lutheran."




The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween Party."

Where Are the Wooly Worms

Where are the wooly worms? I have not seen one this fall and I depend on them to forecast the winter weather. Others have seen them but not me. What does this mean? Does this mean I won’t see winter? Which is not bad because that means I will be where it is warmer. From what others have told me the wooly worm is black and that means batten down the hatches, pile up the wood, and get your long johns out because winter is going to be bad.

Saw the sand sculptures this afternoon. It is absolutely fascinating that someone would spend days creating these fragile pieces of art.

We ate dinner at Cohen’s. The Cohen Family owned this from around 1921 until 1980, when the last member of the Cohen family, Stella Cohen Peine, died upstairs in her apartment. Her husband was murdered in the alley behind the building. She lived with her sister until the 1950’s. The she became reclusive and was hardly ever seen. Allegedly this place is haunted and has been on the Discovery Channel “Haunted Journeys.”

Location: Paducah Kentucky

Grumpy versus Perky

My mother pops out of bed. She starts the coffee, turns on the TV, and while nursing her cup of joe she watches the news. I, on the other hand, do not do perky in the morning. I slide out bed, plop down at the kitchen table, and stare at her with one eye. I am not a pretty sight in the morning and my disposition makes it worse. Undaunted mom smiles and says "Good Morning." This causes the other eye to open and I to growl, "Whats so good about it." Geez how does that woman live with me?

I lied we are staying two more days. They are doing sand sculptures and Metropolis has a casino - two good reasons to stay on.

Location: Paducah Kentucky

Leaving Tomorrow

We will be leaving tomorrow. Our destination is the beautiful state of Tennessee. We are planning a visit to "Widow of the South."

Paducah and Mayfield was a wonderful stop. My favorite place was the cemetery in Mayfield.  It is very rare to see the statues. The gentlemen that had them created must of wanted his family with him when he passed. Even though they are buried elsewhere they are with him in stone and spirit.

Mom and I are looking forward to warmer and drier weather. Lets hope we find it.

I will post when I can. It is always a challenge finding the Internet. Trees kill my signal so sometimes my satellite won't work and even though the RV parks are getting wireless we seem to find the ones that hasn't.

Location: Kentucky Paducah

Well This Is Interesting

I swiped this from Skittle's Place

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Been Tagged Again

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
The insurance person who said I would have to crawl back to Missouri with my broken legs.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Marilyn Manson – one sick puppy
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Would saying Bush put me on a list?
4. What is your favorite cheese?
Sharp Cheddar
.5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Turkey, Lettuce, Tomato, and Mayo. I am very boring
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Mr. Green Jeans
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Harry Belafonte
8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy cow, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Slot machines – head for the nearest casino
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
El Salvador
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Grab a bus and head for Tazumal. Then later I would grab another bus for Guatemala and sleep under the stars on top of the Temple of the Masks.
11. A demon rises out of Hell and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?
Belikin Beer
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Who the hec is Rufus? The Antebellum Period, South Carolina.
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
You can only build thatch huts, wear minimal clothing, and drink only Belikin Beer.
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
World’s Biggest Gainers starring all of the anorexic stars. Serve them cheesecake, cheeseburgers, and onion rings and watch them eat.
15. What is your favorite curse word?
Once in a while the f word will slip out because it is so deliciously evil.
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything; they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Unwrap them and see what lies under all the wrapping. Then dress them up in my grandmother’s clothing and take pictures.
17. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?
My computer
18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Call everyone I know and say I love you.
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Invisibility. Nothing cooler.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Any of the half hours on the day I truly believed I was loved.
21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Lighting up my first cigarette.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff… you can move to anywhere else in the world! What country are you going to live in now?
Belize
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
Sorry I don’t hang out at bars.
24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out… I can FLOAT!”?
My daughter’s home, it would totally creep her out. She thinks I am every where anyway.
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Mr. Greenjeans
26. The Gates of Hell have opened, and Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My Brother
27. What’s your theme song?
Just Dropped In To See What Condition My Condition is in.

I Tagged Those Who Have Tagged Me

Skittles
Ramblings

Hannah

I would love to see the answers that Jolie and Dave would give. Just an option.

The Day The War Stopped In Kentucky

Sister Mary Lucy was born Barbara Dosh in Pennsylvania. She and her sister were orphans who were taken in by the Sisters of Nazareth of Louisville. Barbara had a talent for singing, so the nuns sent her to study music at St. Vincent’s near Waverly, in Union County. A wealthy couple wanted to adopt her, but she so loved the Sisters of Nazareth that she became a nun and was known henceforth as Sister Mary Lucy.

When the Civil War broke out in 1861, Sister Mary Lucy was teaching music at St. Mary's Academy in Paducah Kentucky. Northern troops occupied the Southern-sympathizing town in September, and appealed to the sisters at St. Mary’s to help nurse the sick and wounded. Though teachers, the nuns from St. Mary’s did double duty as nurses. The Sisters served in all the hospitals which were soon filled with cases of typhoid and other infectious diseases and later with sick and wounded from the battlefields. Some patients were captured Confederates but the nuns treated all of the patients the same.

Sister Mary Lucy was young, and unproven as a nurse. But she willingly went about the task assigned to her; tasks which required every ounce of courage and strength that she had. She sang softly in her beautiful voice as she worked, for which the soldiers silently blessed her, as it reminded them of their mothers, wives, and sweethearts back home. Sister Mary Lucy also ate less food so the patients could have more. This apparently weakened her system, and she came down with typhoid fever. Sister Mary Lucy died on Dec. 29, 1861.

Even battle-hardened soldiers were heartbroken at the death of this selfless young nun. She had never raised a hand against anybody, and here she was struck down by this horrible disease. Union authorities arranged a military funeral. Her honor guard was a dozen officers, six in blue and six in gray. All were patients of Sister Mary Lucy. Her coffin was placed aboard the Peacock, the cannon-bristling gunboat draped in black. The warship transported Sister Mary Lucy’s remains up the Ohio River to Uniontown, where a wagon waited to take the coffin to the little cemetery at St. Vincent's Academy.

The soldiers were convalescent at best, in their weakened state; they risked catching pneumonia in the cold out on the river.

It was dark when the Peacock reached Uniontown. They put torches on the wagon and the funeral procession traveled another seven miles down a dirt road to the cemetery. After a brief funeral service, her body was laid to rest. Before they left, the officers, with the permission of the church, gave her a military salute. After the burial services were over, the twelve officers of two different armies parted company, one contingent going to Columbus, Kentucky in the service of the North, the other group toward Vicksburg and the South. Impressed as they were by the admirable conduct and gallantry shown by the Southerners on the journey, the Federal officers allowed the Southern officers their freedom and in that act offered a tribute to the memory of Sister Mary Lucy, who had nursed all men as simple children of God, regardless of the earthly loyalties.

Location: Kentucky Paducah

Why Not Bats

I have been asked why do I like bats. Bats are mysterious. They are the symbol of night which is my favorite time of day. If you have ever stood outside a cave around dusk you will be swept away when you see the bats come out of their home to look for food. Bats are more closely related to humans than they are to rats. I think I fell in love with bats when I first held one and realized that this was an opportunity in a lifetime. Bats were instrumental in my home as well because when my daughter wanted a rat I said "Sure." Because Rats like Bats are two of the most misunderstood animals. I have a tendency to support the underdog. Bats are very helpful to humans - pest control, antibiotics, fertilizer, and even tequila. So raise your shot glass, eat the worm, and salute the bat.

Mayfield Kentucky Cemetary

We visited another beautiful cemetery in Mayfield Kentucky. This one had something a little unusual in it though. An 18-figure group was erected in the late 1890's by Henry G. Wooldridge. He is the only person entombed on the lot. The group of monuments consist of two statues of Henry- one astride his favorite horse, Fop and another with him standing beside a lectern. Colonel Wooldridge raised, raced, and sold horses in the Mayfield / Graves County area. He never married after his first and only love died in a riding accident years before in Tennessee. About 1880, as Col. Wooldridge neared 60 years of age, he moved to Mayfield, where he lived until his death on May 30, 1899. I took lots of pictures and they will be posted after I post this.

Another interesting monument is the statue of an angel holding grapes. According to folklore, when the monument was erected the angel was holding a full stalk of grapes in her extended hand. As time past, one by one, the grapes began to fall and disappear. Legend has it that when the last grape falls the world will end.

Afterwards we headed for Paducah and stopped off at a bookstore. It is not a good place for us to go, believe me. We have reading material now which will be nice when I snuggle into bed tonight. We just found out it will drop below freezing tonight so I will have to drain my hose and turn on the heaters for the tanks.

As the Duke of Paducah would say “I’m goin’ back to the wagon, boys, these shoes are killin’ me!"

Thank You Hannah

When you win that hundred million I want the real thing!

Mayfield Kentucky

Today was laundry day and house cleaning, what fun we have in our little house on wheels. We did meet our neighbor who was just delightful. Later we took a drive to Mayfield because that is where the RV will have to be tomorrow morning for minor interior repair. The cemetery is beautiful there and I am hoping that we will have time tomorrow to go back.

We will also be going to downtown Paducah sometime this week. They have murals as well as historical buildings. My two favorite things to see.

So far all is well and we are keeping warm, hope the same for those that read this. .

Location: Kentucky Paducah

I've Been Tagged

5 Thingamajigs I Like:
The sound of a train
A new book
The smell of coffee
Quiet mornings
Bats
5 Thingamajigs I Hate:
Fever blisters
Irresponsible drivers
Insect bites and stings
Sneezing
Elevators

5 Thingamajigs I Do Far Too Often:
Daydream
Goof around on the internet
Drive
Take Pictures
Sit

5 Thingamajigs I Do Even Though I Shouldn't:
Smoke.
Eat
Stay awake (I live on 4 or less hours of sleep)
Snore
Cuss

5 Thingamajigs I Would Never Do:
Bungee jump
Climb a mountain
Run naked through the street
Pierce my belly button
Own a monkey

5 Thingamajigs I Regret Doing:
Not finishing college
Not saying goodbye

I don't have a lot of regrets

5 Thingamajigs I Would Do If I Won 100 Million Dollars:
Move to Belize or Guatemala
Take photography lessons
Send two of my children to college (hint hint)
Sent up scholarship funds
Finish college


5 Thingamajigs About Me That Are Peculiar But True:
I hate to sneeze
I can't cook
I really do like to climb trees
I really don't mind driving
I love to sidewalk to sit

I am sending this to
Hannah

Outa Here

We will be leaving Osage Beach today and heading for Kentucky. Will post when Internet is available.

Hannah I love the quilting blogs. Robert is to funny. I am still worried about him.

Location:  Osage Beach

Itching To Leave

I am itching to leave. The itch is worse than poison ivy or those nasty little no see ums called chiggers. So far, Mom has a clean bill of health, Surely has problems with her trachea, and my doctor forgot to write my appointment down. I hate Well Women Exams. I spend the night before worrying and dreading it. Of course you can’t eat after midnight and that only makes me hungry after midnight. So I can’t curl up with my peanut butter and a good book and relax. So I was not a happy camper when I walked in the doctor’s office Monday and everyone greeted me and then said “what are you doing here?” I am going tomorrow and once again I will spend an anxious night without my peanut butter.

I always leave an impression at my doctor’s office. It is not because I want to, believe me I really don’t but I always do. Example: I call the office. I say “This is Pepper.” Their voice turns from professional to friendly.
Receptionist: Hey girl what’s up?
Me: I need Malaria pills
Receptionist: where the hell are you going?
Then I hear her say to her co workers, she needs malaria pills. Yes, I did get them after explaining why.

My last visit to see them was when my kayak flipped in Lake Petén (in Guatemala). 45 minutes of treading water and drinking half the lake did a number to my digestive system. I waited a week before I called. I haven’t lived that one down. The feeling to my leg did come back.

I know we are heading to Kentucky to get some minor warranty work done and after that we are heading for I-10. I don’t have an itinerary set up and probably won’t but I will keep everyone posted. Thanks for the emails and comments. For those that inquired about my oldest son and his health, he is good health, the tear in his lung has healed, and he is going out of his mind because he can’t work. Surgery is still on his agenda and he will be able to work two weeks after the surgery. He is looking forward to getting back to normal.

Yes Hannah

I have no childhood memories. The ones I repeat were given to me by someone else who remembers. I don’t remember the feel of my grandparent’s hugs or kisses. I don’t remember past Christmases or Halloweens. I don’t remember my brother and if wasn’t for the pictures I wouldn’t remember his face or his smile. I see pictures of me sitting with my grandmother, leaning into her, and smiling for the camera but I don’t remember her. I sometimes look back at those pictures trying to remember but I don’t. I wish I could give my children and grandchildren the wonderful gift of my childhood memories but I can’t. I give them someone else’s memories that pertained to me. I have a picture of me around the age of 7 with my best friend, a dog called Jimbo. I know he was my best friend because someone told me. What I can remember is the feel of the woods; the security and serenity of the stillness. I remember running through a field by the lake and tasting freedom. I remember setting fire to the woods above the house and my dad went to his grave always wondering and never knowing that I did it. I remember the Turtle Pond and magical spring that fed it. I remember going there once and finding it. I felt like I found the pot at the end of the proverbial rainbow. The woods were my hiding place. I found myself in those woods. I went back to the house today. I saw my woods, my field bulldozed. Depression is insidious, its tentacles squeezes your heart until it bleeds tears. I sometimes complain that the medication I take takes away my tears. It didn’t when I drove to the house and saw the destruction. Yes Hannah I do miss my hills.

Snow, Getting Married, and Pneumothorax

A blog friend of mine mentioned she was getting snow. Snow, four little letters that spell fear, at least for me. I lived in the Ozarks, the land of hills and hollows and snow meant treacherous roads. Ever since I hit another truck head on my fear of snow has only increased. Snow covered roads meant walking ½ sometimes ¾th miles to my car. If the plows came and cleared off the first road then I only walked ½ mile, uphill on a long and winding road. If the weather man reported deeper snow I would park my car ¾ miles from my house on a better stretch of road. I would have to walk ¾ miles up two hills to get to my car so I could work. I hated walking up those hills. I tried to focus on the beautiful landscape or sang silly little ditties to take my mind off the fact that I was freezing to death but it didn’t work. I wore a stocking cap, mittens, a heavy coat and when I took off my hat the static electricity would create a hair do that nothing could tame. I looked like a wild woman when I went to work. When it would snow while at I was at work I would get the hell out of there immediately. I would put in my request for leave, jump in the car, and if I wasn’t stocked up on groceries I would stop at the store. I left a laundry basket in the car during the winter months so I could put my groceries in it. Then I would tie a piece of rope on the laundry basket and drag it while I walked home. This only worked when there was snow on the ground. I remember one time I loaded up the laundry basket and started the trek down the road. The laundry basket must have hit a patch of ice the same time I did because I took a tumble and the laundry basket full of groceries went whizzing by me. I laid there and watch my groceries take the curve of the road and disappeared. I walked down the hill thinking I would see my groceries scattered to and fro but to my surprise there at the bottom of the hill was my laundry basket, still full, and not one thing fell out of it. Someone smiled on me that day. I grabbed the rope and trudge home feeling a little bit warmer thinking about that smile.

Hannah, I know you do numerology the old fashion way but I found a web site that will do it for you. I have to agree with your results though because this one forecasted marriage when I am in my fifties. I do not see that happening. It is fun though and if you want to play with it go to Numerology

Since all of my children are reading my blog now I will explain by copy and paste what is going on with James/Rusty which is, for those that don’t know, my first born.

What is a pneumothorax?

A collapsed lung (pneumothorax) results from a buildup of air in the space between the lung and the chest wall (pleural space). As the amount of air in this space increases, the pressure against the lung causes the lung to collapse. This prevents your lung from expanding properly when you try to breathe in, causing shortness of breath and chest pain.

A pneumothorax may become life-threatening if the pressure in your chest prevents the lungs from getting enough oxygen into the blood.

What causes a pneumothorax?

A pneumothorax is usually caused by an injury to the chest, such as a broken rib or puncture wound. It may also occur suddenly without an injury (spontaneous pneumothorax).

Spontaneous pneumothorax can occur in people who don't have lung disease. This happens when an air-filled blister (bleb) on the lung ruptures and releases air into the pleural space. It is very common in tall, thin, men.

His surgery is scheduled for the first week in November. Hopefully he will be back at work on the 15th. Until then he is a stay at home dad.